When I was a teenager I thought that growing up meant being free of my mother’s constant nagging about the person she wanted me to be. A proud Man with values that others would admire. Having respect for my fellow man, not hurting anyone directly or indirectly, not stealing or cheating, to be precise do unto others as you would have them do to you. All through those turbulent teen years it never occurred to me that what Mother was doing was preparing me for the life ahead of me. She was teaching responsibility to an oblivious teen who could not wait to be an adult and do all the bad things that adults do, like too many sex partners, excessive use of alcohol and drugs. It never occurred to me that they were wasting their lives and killing themselves. I once worked with a twenty one years old man who had heart murmur from the amount of coke that he ingested from seventeen to twenty one. Can you imagine a young man with the heart of an old man. I also met a Man who didn’t know the names of all his children, he had so many with different Women. Yet another man who drank anything other than milk or water and his stomach would bleed, from all the alcohol he drank .
All this boiled down to responsibility, something that too many adults lack. Immature and irresponsible they know how to scratch the itch but nothing about parenting, I would need a calculator to tabulate the amount of men that I have met in their forties and fifties with the mentality of a fifteen year old. Looking back I thank mom for all the nagging. Of all the misfits that I have been unfortunate to have met in my life, I must say mother did her Job raising two Boys by herself with great success. Neither one of us possess a compulsive obsessive disorder, both good husbands and fathers, world class citizens who respect all of God’s Creatures.
Parenting comes easy for me, lead by example and pass on values through the way you live your life, it can’t be taught. Trying to teach values and living your life in a gregarious manner is contradicting.
The other day I noticed a young man with two young boys heading to the Beach, in one Hand he had a twelve pack of beer in the other was an opened can that he was sipping from. The message he was sending, public drunkenness was against the law but cool anyway, how contradictory. It’s the same when you invite a bunch of friends over, everybody gets shit-faced and trash talk when the kids are within earshot. That’s irresponsibility , kids are like sponges they absorb their Environment. Once I was sitting at the kitchen table with my friend’s wife having a conversation when her eight years old son could not get her attention he vehemently declared mommy you are a Bitch , instead of slapping his face and giving credibility to his vulgarity, she asked him why he called her that. He staunchly replied Daddy said that you are.
It appeared that he and his dad had a conversation about something that his mother told him he couldn’t have and his response was, don’t mind her she is a Bitch. On another occasion we were in his Basement doing some work, the Door leading upstairs was slightly ajar. His eighth years and his six years was locked in a fierce Verbal confrontation, calling each other every vulgar names under the Sun. I thought to myself these kinds weren’t being Raised up they were being dragged up by irresponsible people who were clueless that their children were living their parents lives mimicking the way they interacted with each other. Six years later the girl was sitting in the Driver’s seat of his Truck, he had his Hand between the Door Frame and the Door. After years of watching her Mother being abused she slammed the Door shut on his Hand, he had unwittingly corrupted his daughter. As I have said over and again, anyone can make Babies, but we all don’t possess the level of responsibility to be good Parents.