Life, Parenting And Relationships

The Hurt

Red Flags

Holding on to anger is like drinking Poison and waiting for the other person to die (Buddah)

What in the World is wrong with Angry  People, those who for whatever reason choosing to let one moment of Hurt, Madness, Hate, Disillusionment or whatever reason control their entire lives.  Has anyone ever heard of picking yourself up brushing off yourself and moving on, instead of Dwelling on the Hurt to the point where you don’t exist, only the Hurt. You do whatever it takes to ease the Hurt as in Drugs and Off the Wall behavior. Bad enough Grown People have to encounter hurt, for a Child to experience the Trauma, the Avalanche of Social Discourse ticks like a Time Bomb. My friend was molested somewhere around ten and the Hurt and shame followed him all through the rest of his life.

Remember me telling you about the behavioral problems that followed the Hurt and the Drugs to ease the Hurt. He was a well adjusted child until his misfortune, then his personality, behavior and his attitude toward life took a nosedive. His schoolwork went to Hell he became problematic got into a lot of fights, jumped off a Bridge when he was twelve or thirteen the Doctors never thought he would live, he started using Cocaine before he was fifteen. Talking about Parenting skills, no one saw the Red Flag he was waiving or his screams for help though they were silent they were Deafening. A Deaf Dumb and Blind Man would have sought help for him, his Parents were oblivious to their once normal Child off the wall behavior and thought the child was just a bad Boy as the whole community did.

My Mother always told me that there was good in everyone, well let me tell you Mom there is bad in all of us, it’s just a matter of what it takes to bring it out. The most Important thing about being hurt is you need to tell someone you need to talk about it with someone or it will eat you alive and consume you the way Hate does. My friend died at thirty nine taking his secret with him, never told his Parents or anyone else but me. Call me clairvoyant, call me Empathetic but I see right through People as if they were Transparent. I saw the Good in him that the entire Town didn’t see including his Family, all they knew was that he did bad things and that he was out of control, no one was interested in the Root Cause. The path in life that he took was laid out for him by his Molester and his Deaf Dumb and Blind Parents.

The worse of Hurt comes from someone you love and trust, as in a family member a Teacher or a Priest especially When they lay a guilt trip on you about telling. When I got molested I was fourteen my Mother died not knowing what transpired in the Home of a Teacher who had scoped me out in the Schoolyard, I was never one of his Pupils but he had slated me as his next Victim. His two younger Brothers who were also molested by him Lured me to the house. The difference between my Friend and I was that he was only a helpless Child, I on the other hand was a big fourteen years old who had overcome the Hurt of two severe beatings by two grown Men, one a family member the other a Church Brother, I was only eight.

Those two beatings brought out the bad in me. My Molester didn’t have a clue who he wanted to Rape, with a handful of my Testicles he tried to pull them from their housing. The poor fool didn’t know that only Months ago I won the fight of my Life from a sixteen years old who was a skilled street fighter, his two older Brothers were Gunmen who caught many Bullets before they caught up with me. Teachie as he was called tried to squeeze me into submission, I closed my Eyes while visualizing his face, with a Rabbit Punch I nailed him in his left Eye so hard I am certain that he eventually would have lost that Eye. The Eye immediately filled up with Blood, he released my Testicles as if they burned his hands, he screamed to his Brothers for help, the older one stood up, I grabbed a Steak Knife and decided to Butcher all three of them for putting me through this embarrassment.

The Lord have always channeled my Anger, I put the Knife down and walked out. In my case the Hurt wasn’t much only two sore Testicles but not my Manly Pride. My Mother was neither Deaf Dumb or Blind she worked with me through those difficult years, with God’s help I have lived a normal life and never spent a day in Prison and never had to kill anyone. My friend on the other hand spent many years in confinement after coming full circle with a bad Life, one Day after sitting at my Kitchen table he was on Tv for taking his Girlfriend and his Child Hostage. That was the last time I saw my friend, he died two years ago at thirty nine from all the bad Life that the Hurt had caused him to live.

He told no one but me, it took fifty years for me to openly talk about mine, don’t live in silence it will make you angry all the time and you won’t know why, Anger will eat you alive along with those around you. In conclusion I am begging all you Deaf Dumb and Blind Parents out there to be Vigilant of the Red Flags that your Kids wave and sudden behavioral change, remember that silence says a lot. Forget about your mundane life and invest some time in your juvenile delinquent offspring, oftentimes there is a message in their bad behavior, caught in time you could save Society from the Havoc that awaits.

In my neck of the woods Tampa, over the last three years Society have felt the wrought of two young men that must have been hurt at one point or another to have lashed out on Society the way they did. One at sixteen Raped a sixty one year old Woman, obviously he hated the Grandmother figure, remember Rapist don’t do it for the pleasure only for the Hurt they inflict, within one year he Raped again this time an eighteen years old College Bound, this time all his Hurt and Hatred was levied on this poor young Woman, the beating left her in a Vegetative State for the rest of her Life. His Parents were Deaf Dumb and Blind to the Red Flags, so was the Parents of the other who worked by Day at McDonald’s, at nighttime he terrorized a Neighborhood killing four of it’s Residents randomly over a one Month’s Murderous Rampage. I guess his Parents also were Deaf Dumb and Blind  to the early warning signs of his Red Flags.

P.S.   Be soft. Do not let the World make you hard. Do not let the Pain make you Hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.

Related

Psychological trauma

Psychological trauma is a type of damage to the mind that occurs as a result of a distressing event. Trauma is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one’s ability to cope, or integrate the emotions involved with that experience. Trauma may result from a single distressing experience or recurring events of being overwhelmed that can be precipitated in weeks, years, or even decades as the person struggles to cope with the immediate circumstances, eventually leading to serious, long-term negative consequences.

Because trauma differs between individuals, according to their subjective experiences, people will react to similar traumatic events differently. In other words, not all people who experience a potentially traumatic event will actually become psychologically traumatized.  However, it is possible for some people to develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after being exposed to a major traumatic event.This discrepancy in risk rate can be attributed to protective factors some individuals may have that enable them to cope with trauma; they are related to temperamental and environmental factors from among others. Some examples are mild exposure to stress early in life.

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