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Deviants

via Deviants

What is it about the Human Animal that makes him so volnuable to Deviations. I started noticing this Flaw in myself at fourteen years old. My Mother was one of the most devoted Christians that I have Known, naturally her values were Embedded in her Children. Yet here I am fourteen years old, sitting in the School Yard smoking Marijuana with my twelve years old Buddy, both of us Deviants and Juvenile Delinquents. He

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Deviants

What is it about the Human Animal that makes him so volnuable to Deviations. I started noticing this Flaw in myself at fourteen years old. My Mother was one of the most devoted Christians that I have Known, naturally her values were Embedded in her Children. Yet here I am fourteen years old, sitting in the School Yard smoking Marijuana with my twelve years old Buddy, both of us Deviants and Juvenile Delinquents. He attended Catholic School, he told me Stories of Molestation I dread to Believe. Nonetheless I would be a hypocrite to deny that they never occurred. Months earlier a Teacher tried to Molest me, that episode left him just about blind in one Eye.

While he was incapacitated I found a Steak Knife in my Hand, I put down the Knife and spared his Life. That’s how easy it is to make the wrong decisions.  And you wonder what is a twelve and fourteen years old doing Smoking Weed in a School Yard. I would say trying to calm their nerves, watching the World around them turn to Gomorrah. Will someone explain to me why self Gratification is more important than your Reputation, your Career or your Life. I once knew a Man who told me that he Hung a Man in a Public Park for Raping his Sister. I bet the Rapist didn’t see that coming. Thirty years later the Media is Bulging with People coming Forward with Stories of Molestation and Abuse. The Abusers Rank from Bishops, to  a Big Ten Football Coach, Famous Actors to a Billionaire who Hung himself to avoid Justice.

Yet many people have Doubts about these accusations, it’s only a delusional Mind that makes up stories like that. The average Victim never comes forward, I never told my Mother or anyone else. This very moment as I am watching the local News, a young Mother is Arrested barely twenty. She was charged with assault on her six Months old Child who suffered inflicted wounds to the Brain. To call her a Deviant is a Compliment. Back to my original question what is wrong with the Human animal. Other Species Kill without warning anything approaching their infants, we Murder ours. Two years ago another young Mother is Arrested for slamming her four years old against a Wall, stuffing his lifeless Body in a big Black Bag like Garbage. The Boy’s Body was found dumped in a nearby Park.

When I hear Stories like these they rips at the fibers of my Christian teachings that no Man is beyond Redemption. My Mother preached it to me by telling me that there is good in everyone. Not being cynical let me tell you there is also bad in everyone, how we deal with our shortcomings define’s us. I know that Mental Illness is rampant but so also Is bad Judgement and Dimwitted Logic that Justice is Blind. Forget about being apprehended, what of moral decency towards your fellow Man, so many Lives ruined and lost to your selfish gratification and Rage. Growing up I was a rotten Kid but as Adulthood approached I knew I had to change my ways otherwise I would have to pay the consequences. Now that’s a word that a lot of people are not familiar with or thinking that they are above Retribution.

Please don’t think  you ever have a point to Prove, once a young Man with staunch Convictions of wrong and right, got in a struggle with a Lawbraker, a Gun goes off. Now he is on the Run. Life is Scarry so you better look at it with a Weighing Mind, it’s like Quicksand. You need to take each Step always calculating. OJ and Arron Hernandez didn’t calculate the Consequences, you can’t go about life doing whatever you want without facing consequences. A lot of us are the way we are because our Parents were scared to do their Jobs as Parents, so we ended up spoiled rotten and think that we literally can get away with Murder. As far as I am concerned all that Deviant behavior comes from stupidity thinking that they are smarter than the average Idiot, smart enough to commit Murder and elude the Law.

Ok so you are not that bad as to commit Murder or steal and to commit fraud, but the list goes all the way to Molestation and Adultery. In all reality Deviant Behavior started very early in Childhood, a child that manipulates his Parents is a Deviant. I once worked for a Man who was a hardworking Businessman, a self made Millionaire and loving Family man. He had three Boys, the older two were world-class Citizens. The youngest, before he was eighteen he was Arrested for DUI, Drug possession and Gun possession. So you see you can’t always blame the Parents. When I was fourteen I was a Deviant, my first Day in High School all that changed. I didn’t want to be a Gangster anymore, I made up my mind that I didn’t want to spend one Day in Prison, I wanted to Learn and Grow.

Sure I continued to smoke a little Marijuana through High School but I didn’t sell any. I had Connections Drug Dealers would Kill to be hooked up with, one an Airline Employee who Traveled the World. When I was sixteen I introduced my Cousin to a Man. My Cousin started working for him, he became wealthy running Kilos through the I 95 corridor from Florida to New York. Along the way he caught five Bullets and did fifteen years in Prison, those were my Bullets and my Prison time. If I wasn’t smart enough to see my Future I would not be able to work in the County Justice System which I presently work. Anything beyond a Traffic Citation bars you from working in the Justice System. And you wonder what is the Motivation for writing this Blog. It’s about keeping your Nose Clean because Your past will one Day come back and  bite you on the Ass just like your Credit Score.

You think I am lying, just ask the Millionaire Celebrities sitting in Prison alongside the Billionaire Drug Lords who could not refuse the Offers that I turned Down. Finally to all you youngsters doing what I did at fourteen, There is a price to pay. When I got to High School I had such a bad case of Inertia from Smoking the finest Strains my Education was suffocating by what I was putting in my Lungs and Brain. My last year in High School I was introduced to English Literature but the Damage was done My Inertia was full Blown, going to College and studying Literary Science was up in Smoke. The study of English Literature have produced many of great Writers, I was too busy listening to Pink Floyd talking about being comfortable Numb and Bob Marley singing Songs about Sensimillia. As far as I am concerned Inertia is the worst side effect from Smoking Marijuana for a Student. Deviants are People who refuses do the right thing,  Deviation from the Norm, always thinking that they are getting over.

Life

The Little Man Inside

As I sat pondering if am I going to write anything today the inner person (your better Judgement, your Conscience) responded quickly, yes you are, you always have a Story to tell. Austin Powers had Minnie Me, I have Major Me. You’ve heard of the little Man inside you, the same one that makes you do stupid things that sometimes land you in Jail or even get you killed. Well guess what there is also a major Man inside that have made many People do Amazing things. I have always been amazed by Life’s Adventures and wonderment, and things that makes you scratch your Head with amazement,no matter how small. For instance, a young Man turning down a chance to play in the NFL, to be with his ailing Mother.

God Bless his Soul, my Brother- in Law. If ever I have seen an act of selflessness this is major. I have spent a weekend in his Home and I can tell you he is truly Blessed. Not playing for the NFL didn’t hold him back. I have been a People Watcher since I was four years old, that’s how I learned. One Saturday Night’s party at the House almost delivered me Dead to the Emergency Room. Watching the People sip on their Drinks, when they got up to Dance, I covered the Room and emptied every Glass. The Doctors were amazed that a four years old Body could survive what should kill an Adult. Over the years I have dodged the Bullet so many times that I have no choice but to be Reverent and Humble. Humility is an Awesome Experience, I first learned Humility at twenty seven.

While working for Solomon Brothers Brokerage Inc, standing in one of the Elevator Banks at One New York Plaza a Crowd gathered. I noticed that the center of attention was John Gutfreund, (King of Wall Street)CEO and Managing Director. All the Underlings were paying Homage, He smiled but said nothing to no one. The Elevator loaded, I allowed the Wigs to Board first. Last one in I was happy to turn my Back, giving them privacy. From the Group someone taps me on the Shoulder, I turned around and Mr Gutfreund said good morning young Man. I was Devastated with embarrassment that I didn’t say Good Morning first, but he was in the presences of other Directors. I didn’t think it was my place to Address the Managing Director. Does anyone see the Humility, he didn’t say Good Morning to any of the Directors, but he spoke to me. Jesus’s Disciples wanted to wash his Feet, He instead washed their’s.

The most Impressive thing about John was his Humility and Respect, despite receiving twelve Millionn Bonus above his Salary. I was further Humbled when he requested me, on the bottom rung of his Internal Security Department to Guard his Valuables, while his forty seven Million Apartment was being Renovated. There were Ming Dynasty figurine worth Millions all over the Place. As soon as I entered the Apartment I began inventory. My Job was to see that all the Contractors know that they were being watched. The Trust that he Bestowed on me was Humbling. From then on I was a changed Person who looked down on no one and thought myself to be above no one. Treat the Janitor with the same respect you give the President. I was further Humbled twenty one years later,  after leaving Solomon Brothers because they turned down my request to transfer to One World Center.

As I watched the Buildings Collapsed a Chill came over me when I thought to myself, I should have been in that Building. When they turned down my request for transferring into that Building, my Mother said to me, God Does everything for a Reason. Solomon lost nine Hundred Employees. I am always vigilant of Amazing occurrences. If they had not turned down my request, I had planned to Retire with the Company. I wouldn’t even touch that with the Man inside making the decision to quit, that was Devine Intervention. I once was Blind, that was my moment of clarity, coming full circle with my Life. 9/11 changed my life forever, before that fateful day I always wondered what was my purpose on this Earth.

Several years later while working in a Nursing Home I realized that my purpose was to give as much of myself to others till it hurts. I went out of my way to make their last Days on this Earth as pleasant and joyful as can be. I never knew that I had a voice until I filled the Hallways with Songs that brought them to their Doors.It was there I met this Woman, she was a Concert Pianist who was stricken with Dementia at the height of her Career, fifty years old.The colors of the Ivory and the Notes were shaded by the Scabbing of her Brain. She was non responsive and had to be fed. The Nursing staff treated her as if she was inanimate. From day one I started communicating with her, her Eyes were intent with mine, even though she never said a word. That never made me give up on her, she started warming up to me by following me with her Eyes whenever I entered her Room.

I told her jokes until I got her to first smile and eventually laughing out loud. It wasn’t long after that she was feeding herself and was back among the Living. God bless you Gladys for allowing me to give of you myself. I learned all about Dementia from Dealing with my Mother’s Dementia. I visited her seven days a week and communicated with her as if she was all there. She showered me with Praise and told me that I was the high point of her Day. Once again the little Man inside me was Humbled. Most people treats Dementia Patients as if their lights were on and nobody was Home. Even in Comatose Patients there is always that little Man in there. Sometimes if you reach far enough, you can bring them out of the Storm. When I was seventeen I used to hear enlightened People talking about finding yourself. I am proud to say my Life wasn’t an absolute waste, “

” I found myself along the way. I found out that Life is Bigger than you or I, that’s me in the Corner and I am not losing my Religion.

The Top Attorney in my Town said ” At my Age I believe I can say what I think”. Ditto.