Life, Parenting And Relationships

Mean Streets

To all you youthful Rebels out there who think that your life is a living Hell living under what you might consider to be a Dictatorship. Slow down and look at the big Picture, a lot of us are on this Earth strictly by accident. Our Parents never meant to have us, but out of an act of nature you were conceived, and there was no going back. Many of our Parents were just Kids themselves when they crawled into the Sack and got knocked up. Some without a conscience abort their mistakes, consider yourself lucky as I do. I myself was a late Pregnancy, my Mother got Pregnant at thirty seven her entire Family advised her to have an Abortion because the Pregnancy was dangerous at that age with poor Health.

Thank God she didn’t listen to them, otherwise I would not be here to tell you that no matter how bad it is where you are it’s worse out there on the Streets. From fourteen to eighteen I was a product of the Streets, I undermined all my Mother’s Christian Teachings, hard work and Dedication to raise an Upstanding World Class Citizen. At fourteen years old I was introduced to the finest Marijuana grown around the World by a twelve year old Boy who went to Catholic School. His older Sister was an Airline Steward, she was the Mule that brought the finest Weed grown from around the World to the Bronx. Her older brother was the Dealer, their Parents were the Pillars of the Community, one a Public Servant the other a CPA.

I was a Rebel without a Cause or a clue doing stupid Shit just to prove that I was a Man being Raised by a Single Mom, and to let her know that I wasn’t going to listen to a Woman. That Woman was Godsend in delivering me from the Streets. At fourteen while doing my Laundry she found an Ounce of Marijuana in my Pocket, flushed it in the Toilet, not a word was said of her find.

Several Weeks later she sat me down and Counseled me of the dangers of smoking Weed and what it could lead to as a Gateway Drug, instead of kicking me out of her House into the Streets where I belonged with my Bitch Ass Attitude about being Raised by a Single Mom. She knew how the Streets were, seen as how her Parents kicked her out of their Home when she got Pregnant with her first Kid.

For four more years she put up with my Crap. Her secret Weapon was her strong belief in God, that we were all put on this Earth to go through Trials and Tribulations, the purpose, to make us strong and Triumphant. Also she used the Technique of Love and Logic Parenting style on me, allowing me to screw up as much as I wanted to, then coming full Circle with my actions and face the consequences, while counselling me about Crime and Punishment.

Mass Murderer

After four years of living the Street life of Drinking Colt 45, Old English and smoking the finest Weed from around the World, while steadily being prodded to sell it.

I squeaked out of High School barely Literate from the beating I put on my Brain from smoking all that High quality Weed for four years, when I should have been prepping myself for College to become a Literary Scholar, instead of Partying my Life away. In the end Mom was Triumphant, at eighteen I realized that if I continued hanging in the Streets it would only be a matter of time before I was selling Kilos, and doing time with Brothers who wanted to make me their Woman. At that point in my young life I had seen the Light and since steadily walked the straight and narrow. One of my Cousins took an Offer that I refused, made himself Wealthy, caught five Bullets and did fifteen years in Prison, forget about the money, those were my five Bullets and my fifteen years. What good would it have done me to become wealthy while losing my Soul to the Streets. What I am trying to tell you young Rebels, is the Streets is no place to be Somebody. It is better to stay in what you may consider an oppressive situation, make it your Job, your Vendetta, your Driving Force to become Educated and set yourself Free.

P.S. this is my Tribute to Tom Petty’s Soul Asylum.


Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blowtorch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn’t even sleep
So many secrets I couldn’t keep
Promised myself I wouldn’t weep
One more promise I couldn’t keep

It seems no one can help me now
I’m in too deep
There’s no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I’m neither here nor there

Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life’s mystery seems so faded.

Life, Religion

A Humbling Effect

A Humbling Effect

One of the hardest Job that I have ever taken on is the Job of being Polite, because Rude People works hard at stealing the Joy. My Mother was very skilled in the Art of being Polite, to the point of taking the Blame to keep the Family ❤ together, now that’s taking it to the next level. The Reason I love Jesus is because I am Humbled by Him not defending Himself and choosing to Die for the Betterment of Mankind. Christianity Teaches turning the other Cheek. Mother done well and Jesus got my Attention. Though I could never aspire to walk in their Shoes. But Why do I have to Smile when you are using Sandpaper to Rub me wrong, while I go out of my Way to keep the Peace, I know that no good comes from the Escalation of Hostilities but War, on any Front, including Home or work War is no good. Yet I am to stay Calm and ignore the Hostilities and😃 smile.

This Business of being Polite carries the Coat of  Sainthood . They step on your Pride and say they didn’t mean it, they Lie under Oath, yet I am to be Civilized and be the Bigger Man when Someone needs a Foot up their Ass. Once Working for a Huge Hospitality Corporation where the test for my Job was to pick something from their Refrigerator and cook it in front of them to their taste, for the GM and Head Chef to sample. I was Hired on the Spot, a couple of Months later the Sous Chef went home didn’t tell me that there were a large amount of Food in the Oven,  left overnight there was the possibility of  starting Fire. I reported to work the following Day to be met outside the Privacy of the Kitchen by The General Manager yelling that I left Food in the Oven Overnight, that was Burnt to a Crisp.

Nothing I could say to convince her that it was not my Bad, she didn’t want to hear the Preverbial. If I am not mistaken she even told me to shut up when I tried to explain. Totally frustrated that I was going to be the Scape Goat, against all my good Christian upbringing, I lashed back at Her I told Her that if she was a Man that I would have put my foot in her Ass. I started walking to the Locker Room she followed constantly asking me what did I say, ignoring her I cleaned out my locker, I guess she didn’t realize that those words ment that I Quit, coming down from her high Horse she asked me who was going to cover my shift, I handed her my Apron.

It’s a shame the way people act when you give them a Title and a Position not realizing that if you are the Captain of a Canoe you need someone to man the Oars, otherwise you are going nowhere. In other words you can be the CEO of a fortune 500 company, without quality Help you are just a Poppycock. It’s the same as a President who can’t work with Congress, noting gets accomplished except Filibustering. All of this Superiority Attitude comes from not teaching your Kids Humility, don’t forget that Jesus washed his Disciples Feet to teach them Humility. I guess that if you don’t believe in Jesus then you can’t walk in his footsteps.

When I worked for Salomon Brothers John Gotfreund yearly salary was 12 million with another 12 in Bonus yet he treated me like I was an important component to the success of the Company. With all his Millions he was one of the humblist people that I have ever met. On the other hand I have worked for  Midget Brains who never earned 1 percent of John’s salary that tried to walk all over me before I tell them what to do with their Job. It’s very hard being a good Christian in a world filled with People who think that theirs do not Stink. In conclusion no matter how far you make it in this World don’t forget that Jesus got down on his hands and knees to teach his Disciples Humility, so who am I not to be Humbled.



Imported Labor is a way of life, has been and always was. That’s how Capitalism is, cheap Labor rules, if you can manufacture a pair of Sneakers for ten Dollars and it Retails for $150 you are The Capitalist. Free Enterprise is good, Runaway Greed is bad. I work as a Contract Employee for a Justice System, that is where I met Jane a Latin American Immigrant, Columbia I believe. Jane lives and works in Florida, back home she left her Husband and a Son who is a budding Artist, in her Country she attended College, she never told me what she studied. However one can tell that she is a Scholar due to the fact that she is middle aged and is going to school to improve her command of the English Language and reconnect with her chosen Profession.

We became friends when she spoke to me in broken English and I corrected her in Spanish, she was impressed with the fact that I could hold my own with her Language and wanted to know how so. I explained to her that I took Spanish in High School for four years but over the years I became rusty from not practicing. We decided to Mentor each other, she would speak to me in English and I would speak to her in Spanish, that way we could correct each other. To me this is very commendable, a forty five years old going to school wanting to bridge the Language gap that holds her back. Earlier in our conversations she confided in me how bad the conditions were in her Country including the Economy, that is why she is here.

I suppose that somewhere down the Road she heard that this was the Land of opportunity where by the sweat of your Brows you can eat and live better than a Refugee. In her neck of the woods they jump Borders daily in search of work, only to find that the Grass is the same and in this Hemisphere it is only greener in America. Why should they not try to Jump the Wall of China, the Berlin Wall and the soon to be Built Wall of Freedom to separate Mexico and Latin America from the Land of Freedom. Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” is this only idle Talk or words spoken to give hope to the downtrodden beaten and broken seeking Liberty. All of this Hypocrisy about shutting the Floodgates reminds me of the Ten Commandments that only a few lives by.

The Church doesn’t feed the Homeless and don’t practice separation of State, in my neck of the woods Tampa Florida in the last elections a Church lost it’s Accreditation as a Polling Place for trying to influence Voters on which Party to vote for, many supports tighter immigration Laws while Soup Kitchens are far and few. Thanksgiving goes back to the early Settlers the Mayflower mentality has brought people here from every country in the World, which has taken on new meanings over the years. This Country was taken out of the Agricultural into Industrial into Internet Technologies from imported Labor,  the Brightest and the best have always abandoned their own Country for the Land of Opportunities.

No matter how much Charity is given to Third World Countries you can’t fill the void of all their best minds migrating here. First you need to fix the problem that caused them to inundate the Southern Borders. Instead of giving me a hundred pound sack of Rice, teach me how to farm so I can feed my Family for Life, instead of lending me a hundred Million that I can never pay back teach me to market my Resources. For each failed Economy in Latin America our Borders becomes inundated with hungry people looking for work. The least we can do is Process them, many of them is just like Jane educated and Industrious looking for a break. Simon and Garfunkel said it best ” We all come to look for America”

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Grinding Axes

Grinding Axes

Have you ever witnessed an extraordinary act of kindness  such as someone behind you in the checkout line offered to pay for your few items. Mind boggling to the skeptics trying to figure the motivation. There is nothing to figure some people believe that you do a good deed and you receive what you have sown. Some people their positive mental attitude is just that infectious, those are my kind of people no down bringers no Haters just people trying to get along with the rest of the World and not blaming it for their shortcomings. Some people they go to sleep angry and awake the same way, not even knowing why. My Mother was one that was great for paraphrasing, her favorite” an Ax to Grind” in this World there are too many Axes to Grind, Color, Socioeconomic, Religion and Gender to name a few.

It seems that once Cain’s hands were stained with Blood Mankind was never able to wash them clean and once our Minds contaminated with Hate that’s how it remains for Generations. Yet the Bible teaches to forgive and forget, Psychologists tells us in order to heal one should forget the hurt, let go and move on with your life. The bad part is those who need psychological help don’t seek it. All I know is if there were something eating at me for years and is pushing me over the edge to act on it, first I would seek help, if the Ax that I was grinding was consuming my every thought, pushing me to the edge Of destruction, I would check myself in voluntarily, why should I take innocent people with me. If there is a Virus within you kill it.

Grinding an Ax for years then acting out by killing a bunch of innocent people is the Cowardly thing to do, the brave thing is to recognize  what you have allowed yourself to become and eradicate the problem. I know that I am sounding Brutally frank  but the Saga never ends. September 2001 a Bunch of Fanatical Haters flew Planes into Buildings that my Coworkers were in, nine hundred of them perished. You think that we would take Head to how far Hate can push you and knowing that all those Fanatical Haters aren’t Dead, just laying low to strike again while we wallow in our own pettiness. Eleven years later yet another act of Terrorism, this time homegrown, make no mistake perpetrating hateful acts of crime on Society is nothing short of Terrorism.

The Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting occurred on December 14, 2012, in Newtown, Connecticut when 20-year-old Adam Lanza fatally shot 20 children between six and seven years old, as well as six adult staff members. Before going to the school, he shot and killed his mother at their Newtown home. This young man allowed the hate within to consume him, then he unleashed it on helpless innocent children. That’s what the hate virus do it makes you blame everyone except the one who owns the problem. Four years later the Pulse shootings,On June 12, 2016, Omar Mateen, a 29-year-old security guard, killed 49 people and wounded 53 others in a terrorist attack inside Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando Florida.

Orlando Police Department officers shot and killed him after a three-hour standoff, yet another Hater who hated Gays and anyone who doesn’t share his Faith.On February 14, 2018, a gunman opened fire at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, killing seventeen students and staff members and injuring seventeen others. Witnesses identified nineteen-year-old former student Nikolas Cruz as the assailant, and he was arrested in Coral Springs by the Broward County Sheriff’s Office shortly after he escaped the scene; Cruz had purchased food at Walmart and McDonald’s restaurants after leaving the scene of the shooting. I guess he felt good about what he had just accomplished with no remorse, to the point where he could eat with lack of conscience.

Cruz confessed to being the perpetrator, and he was charged with 17 counts of premeditated murder and 17 counts of attempted murder. Police and prosecutors have not yet offered a motive and are investigating “a pattern of disciplinary issues and unnerving behavior”.  And so we have another case of the hate virus consuming its incubator. Being Molested at fourteen didn’t make me hate Gays to Massacre them being a victim of Police brutality didn’t make me hate all Cops, neither incidents left me an Ax to Grind.  I must be a Genius to have learned at an early age that there is good and bad in all walks of Life, and that Life wasn’t fair. While I see people around me Grinding Axes that were around before Jesus Christ, Nomads against Jews against Christians against Catholics against Protestants where does it ends. Get over it we will not all look alike, talk alike think alike or Worship alike, if you killed all of us who didn’t fit in your Box, who would there be to feed your little  Ego that you are better than a Cockroach with a Gun. Just talking about the Subject puts a damper on my good vibes and values remember you can’t teach values to your kids they learn from how you live your lives. If you grind Axes in front of your Kids don’t be surprised when they grow up with your sharpened Axes, whacking at Society.


Out of The Box

By losing yourself you might find that person you were meant to be, the Visionary, the Father, Son, Husband Lover and Friend, a Child of God who doesn’t believe the Universe lays down all it’s Overcoats at your Feet. Blending with your Universe is a Giant step in Losing yourself. You can’t go polluting everything you touch,  Minds included, not expecting repercussions, not Preaching but you only reap that which have been Sown.

We firmly believe that one should lose themselves to find themselves, Being perfectly wounded can easily snap. When I worked in the Resort industry two Days off, allowed me to go back Monday and deal with a new set of Rude People. Mother would say “kill them with kindness”.

Positive stroke, Guest calls you an Idiot

You, I’m sorry I don’t meet your expectations, but I am working hard on improving myself.

Don’t Draw Mason Dixon Lines among People, don’t Incite.


If the intended wasn’t understood, simply put, Step out of the 📦.

Life, Pollution/ Conservation

Save The Land


Looking across the Bay, I see Bridges Built on the Ocean’s Floor, strong enough to endure most Natural Disasters. Distance further I see the Remnants of the Bridge before. I see all its Throwaways and abandonment . The idea of reusing  50% of what we throw away gives years to the Planet. We are killing the Planet with our Waste, eventually we will have no place to put it, and we will have to dig holes in the backyard or Burn it and further pollute the air. When I Lived in Pennsylvania one of the things that irked me was that we took in waste from other States. In a nature preserve in the Pocono mountains lies a quaint Village known as Huggy Bear. We were Homeowners looking to trade up, we came upon the most beautiful Home in our price range, sitting on three Acres, this was my dream Retreat nestled in luscious nature. Only to find out that as a result of a Landowner with a Crater on his Land decided to make some Money, by accepting Waste. Turned out that old Batteries were Dumped,  leaked contaminated Water for miles in the underground waterways . If you watered the Grass you would kill it. One Hundred and fourteen chemicals were found in the Water.

It was at that point I realized that what the Environmentalists were saying was right all along. Protect the Earth through Conservation. In Huggy Bear it was evident that we were killing the Land. Very little is known or said about Huggy Bear, we know about Love Canal and Three Mile island. When I Lived in Wilkes Barre Pa, I used to see this ominous Cloud that hovered over the Nuclear Power plant. There were nothing Natural about this Cloud that would not dissipate and go away. Who am I to say what goes up must come down. What do I know, they don’t tell you anything anyway, except what you need to know. The oil spill in Louisiana will leave it’s Toll for Centuries on the Wildlife. So what are we doing about doing our part, as Consumers we refuse to recycle in any way shape or form. We dispose of our Garbage out the Car Window and just about anywhere we can find, including the Waterways.


Big Industries that we buy their products from, dump their waste water in Waterways that runs hundreds of Miles. We are looking good as an Industrialized World, but very poorly as Conservationists on a mission to save the Land. We need to teach the Kids to save the Land for their Kids. Since we started recycling Billions of dollars have been made and Longevity given to the Environment. All I am saying is, we are smart enough to Colonize the Moon, so we slowly kill Planet Earth, so we can move on to destroy the Moon. Hello!

Conservation and Environmental control will save us from our destruction !!!



Related Stories

Red Tide


The state has wetlands that were built with taxpayer money and they’re doing a great job of cleaning the water. The problem is that less than a quarter of the water being treated there is actually from the lake, most of it is from sugar farms.

Author: WTSP Staff

Published: 10/29/18

It has not been a good year for Florida’s beaches. Red tide has killed thousands of tons of marine life. It has cost taxpayers millions of dollars in clean up efforts. It’s making Floridians sick, and it’s not over yet.

Red tide is a natural algae bloom made much worse by human activity.

“We’re feeding algae blooms with tons of fertilizer,” Peter Girard from, an environmental group, said. “That is not natural.”

Scientists point to pollution flowing into a major lake.

“This could be done by a kid in a science fair project. Take a red tide sample, just dump a little bit more polluted water in it. It will explode,” Dr. William Mitsch, Everglades Wetland Research Park professor, said.

He says the problem can’t be solved without Florida’s influential sugar industry doing its part.

“I’m sorry they’re the last ones standing that has that land,” Dr. Mitsch said.

And sugar farmers respond.

“When they’re trying to put us out of business because of something that might be their fault, then we’re going to fight back, we’re not going to allow it,” Alan Hammock, owner of Frierson Farms, said.

The problem starts in Lake Okeechobee, Florida’s largest freshwater lake. This summer it was covered in blue green algae.

“Lake Okeechobee has been called the liquid heart of Florida and it’s filthy right now,” Girard said.

Farm, septic tank, and fertilizer run off flows into the lake from the North. Then, that water is discharged into rivers to the east and west making its way to the coasts and feeding toxic algae.

Instead of being diverted to the coasts, activists wish that water flowed South, the way it naturally did more than a century ago before sugar companies converted wetlands into farmland.

“We’re trying to make a living, we’ve been doing it for more than a hundred years, you know,” Mr. Hammock said.

The Hammocks live on their farm. The same way their relatives passed on the company to them, they want to leave the land to their kids.

Ardis Hammock, owner of Frierson Farms, says she doesn’t like the term ‘Big Sugar’ because it is “a derogatory term that someone chose to label us.”

And it would be unfair to label the Hammocks’ 750 acres of farmland ‘Big Sugar.’ But activists use it to refer to companies like U.S. Sugar that give tens of millions of dollars in campaign donations to politicians from both parties. They own 230,000 acres of land and seem unwilling to sell any of it.

“This issue was addressed last year in the Florida legislature,” Judy Sanchez, U.S. Sugar’s spokesperson, wrote in an email to 10News. “There is no need to purchase additional farmland and to put farming communities out of business.”

Mrs. Hammock makes the point that sugar farmers are not responsible for the majority of the pollution going into the lake.

“Why aren’t you stopping it where the problem is? Why do you ever want it to come into the lake?” she said.

But even if the runoff from the North stopped flowing into the lake today, the water is already polluted and would continue feeding toxic algae for at least another decade, scientists say.

So, cleaning the water has to be part of the solution.



24 Hours

Russian Roulette

The first 12 Hours without a Cigarette went by understandingly  noticed, but not filled with anxiety and not strung out. Nonetheless by the thirteenth Hour I had purchased a Pack smoked halfway through, I decided from here that 12 hours could be 24 and I wouldn’t Die. What will make me Die  is to continue smoking as if there’s nothing wrong with me smoking. Growing up in the Bronx, I have seen many Addictions. In High School I knew a potential NBA hopeful, he choose to stay in the Schoolyard getting stoned all day, instead of putting down his Baggage he chose  to end his potentials  through Addiction. Make no mistake a Nicotine Addiction is a little slower to kill you than Drugs and Alcohol but certain non the less.

As the saying goes to make an Omlet you first have to crack an Egg. Am I ever cooking, long ago I smoke two packs a Day while being behind the wheel driving commercially. Unwittingly sucking up my own secondhand smoke, even if I had all four Windows down by the time the smoke was drafted out I already inhaled about 25% of what escaped through the opened Windows, some people grudgingly cracks one or two Windows which is not enough to keep all that secondhand smoke from your Lungs. Being conscious that every time you put a Cigarette to your Lips you are swimming against the Tides of Nature is a start. Nature have a way of telling you, something is wrong, with all the bad stuff we put in our Body,  sometimes in excess, Alcohol Cigarettes Bad Foods, we are taking away years from ourselves. Taking Charge of damage control is a big plus, for instance did you know that the Smoke Room at work is one of the worst place to hang out, next time you go in a smoke area before you light your cigarette take a deep breath. One thing I know for a fact, being a smoker it never occurred to me how addicted to Cigarette Smoke I was, when sitting among ten smokers in a partially closed in area with a Roof. The smoke that the eleven of us blow, is able to set off a fire alarm yet not one of us complained of eyes and nose discomfort

When you are a longtime smoker your Lungs will burn but too much tolerance you won’t even notice. When you can get to the point that an enormous amount of smoke can fill your Lungs in such regular seasons, you should start thinking about the problem.

Wheather or not there is a lited cigarette the presence of second hand smoke is overwhelming, now imagine what you are doing to your Lungs when ten other people lights up in that small area. The greatest damage done to my Lungs were done in the last two years working for a company that provided two smoking areas, one was under a Garage, walking through the Garage without having one lit you were smoking. If I had decided to continue smoking I would only smoke in front of a fan knowing that my own secondhand smoke was killing me and everyone around me. I also would only use a Brand that was Organic. Coming down with Tobacco related Illnesses is not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. Right now you are fine, Six months ago I was fine smoking for over 50 years then out of the blue I had Emphysema along with the periodic Coughing. I waited a lifetime until the damage was done, you should not walk in my footprints. Instead you should start now developing a consciousness that it is not a matter of if, but when. After 50 years of Poisoning my body I am lucky to be alive. Playing Russian Roulette with your Health, one day you will find the Bullet like I did. The one good thing about quitting is it dose’nt matter where and when you stop Smoking, your Body starts repairing itself. Depending on when you quit 100% can be repaired, keeping this in mind by Quitting now you give yourself all kind of chances. When you get to where am at most everything is irreversible all you can do to prevent rapid progression is to Quit. Emphysema is sucking in air that exits slowly. You guys please don’t worry about my Emphysema worry about me giving you a Heads up and you thinking that I am alone.  If I had someone Yapping at me about me getting Emphysema, I probably would have quit 20 years ago. My thing about the things that kill you is the suffering, I never wanted to suffer but if you smoke for over 50 years not expecting retribution from your Body then it is what it is. Neil Young puts it Best” Old Man take a look at my Life it’s a lot like yours”