Life, Parenting And Relationships

Billy Jean

 

 

Billy Jean

Most Kids are Born out of accidents, very few People are smart enough to implement Plan Parenthood techniques. The accident occurres when young People are testing the Waters of their sexuality, Instead of focusing on their Education and Careers, they can’t wait to prove that they are grown up and do all the stupid things that adults do such as Smoking, Drinking, doing Drugs and getting each other Knocked up. What happens between those experimental stages and them coming to grip with the stark reality of actually growing up, defines what they have learned from you of what Life in reality is truly about. Getting Pregnant while still being a Teenager robs you of a lot of things, your youth and youthfulness, Strech Marks and Stress knows no Age.

 

 

Putting off your Education for a year or two, many times dictates its end, sometimes out of necessity to care for the Child, so please explain to me the benefits of that moment’s pleasure. I hate to be so brutally frank but the Birds and the Bees do not work for me. When my Brother and I were Teenagers and becoming sexually active my Mother told us that when you’re out there feeling your Oats don’t forget to keep your Drawers up because I have raised you and I am not going to raise your indiscretions. He wasn’t listening to the Greatest Sex Talk that a single Mom was giving to her two Male Children, he became a father at seventeen without a Job, putting the burden on the Girl’s Parents.

 

 

 

When my Mother became Pregnant with her first Child her good Christian Parents ejected her from the family main Resistance into the one Room Guest Shack twenty five yards from the comfort of her Home. My Mother was the Ultimate Mother, she was practicing when she was still a Child helping her Mother care for her twelve other indiscretions, How Hypocritical. As the result of helping her Mother changing Diapers and preparing Meals she was taken out of School at an early age which robbed her of a formal Education, all she was afforded was the basics. With an above average intelligence she was forced to take a Domestic Position with a General’s Family.

The family saw the injustice perpetrated on her and decided to Home School her. They say Education make fools of those without Common Sense. Her Home Schooling and Common Sense allowed her to Rub Elbows with People who were way above her Menial Education such as Ships Captains and Doctors, she even turned down Marriage from a Doctor who didn’t believe in having Children around. Anyway we are talking about Children throwing away the rest of their lives for a moment’s Pleasure. With a College Degree in Economic she could lead a Third World country out of Poverty, with the little money she made people in School including Teachers thought we were Rich, she knew how to make a Dollar out of fifteen Cents.

 

 

I would like to quit talking about her but she was Brilliant with her Parenting Skills, I started going Bad early and she picked up on it early. Can you imagine the Dilemma for a single Mom who sent her Adolescent Son to Sunday School every Sunday finding an Ounce of High Quality Marijuana in her fourteen Years pocket while doing the Laundry. How she handled the situation was an Education for me to raise two Boys in New York City and never feared them using Drugs when it was everywhere around them. When she found my Weed she flushed it down the Toilet and gave herself a week to cool down instead of beating me into a Coma for letting her down. Once she cooled down and got over the blow that I had delt her. 

One Day out of the blue she told me that if I continued this Lifestyle she was going to put me in Juveniles Detention. Personally I think that was just a scare Tactic. Regardless the job she performed as a Drug Counselor was of PHD quality, telling me about the Gateway effects, Crime and Punishment to withdrawal from other Opiates, even though she was never a user her Knowledge was vast. Anyway that’s enough about her Parenting Skills we are talking about yours, for not talking to your Kids about the Dangers of being sexually active as Teenagers. You need to tell them that becoming a Parent changes their Lives forever, the Baby has to Eat even if you go to Bed hungry, the Baby needs Clothes even when there are holes in yours it needs Medical treatment when you have to take an Aspirin.

Having a Child is a life changing experience. My Grandma was a Puritanical Woman she never had the Talk that my Mother had with me at fifteen when I was looking up Girls Skirts, she said first you need an Education and a Job before you start making Babies there are too many Fatherless Homes out there. While working at the Resort on St Pete Beach I observed two fifteen years old Kids in the Kiddies Pool with Moves that told me they were having Sex regularly. Where were their Parents who bought the Plane Tickets and paid for the Hotel Rooms. Like T Sex said Bang a Gong get it on. I once met a Man who taught he was a Player, he bragged to me that he had twenty Kids, that’s just about as Hillbilly as this business of Sex gets. Fatherless Homes is an Epidemic in this Country. She said I am the one but the Kid is not my Son. Thank you Michael for the insight, Pac said it best ” Brenda is having A Baby the Girl can barely spell Her Name”.

 

P.S I know that there are some duplicate contents, but sometimes when you are trying to drive a point home you become repetitive.

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Knowing The Signs

 

Knowing The Signs

First of all let me say that we all can’t be Blessed with perfect Offsprings. Some of them needs a little more attention and vigilance than others. Most People that crawl in the sack and make a Baby thinks that putting a Roof over their Heads and feeding them makes them a good Parent. In my neck of the Woods a young man worked at McDonald’s by day and by night he Randomly killed four People. The Tragedy of it all is that he had never met any of these people, they did him no wrong so there were no Axes to grind.

On November 28 2017, police arrested Howell Emanuel Donaldson III after he handed a pistol in a bag to his manager, who alerted police.

Subsequent investigation revealed that the pistol may have fired the bullets used in the killings and that Donaldson’s cell phone had been in the vicinity of the killings at the relevant times, while a search of Donaldson’s vehicle found clothing similar to that seen in surveillance footage of the killing. On that basis, police charged Donaldson with four counts of murder. Donaldson stated that the pistol belonged to him but did not state that he had committed the killings. Donaldson was indicted on the charges on December 7, 2017. He pleaded not guilty to all charges five days later. On January 23, 2018, Hillsborough State Attorney Andrew Warren announced that the state would seek the death penalty against Donaldson.

When the Cops asked his Parents to shed some light on the Case as to what went wrong. they refused to help the investigation in any way shape or form, I guess they were embarrassed of the miserable job they did protecting John Q. Public from their little Monster.

If you think that they are good Parents you also need help. Parenting is way more complex beyond the average person understanding  skills and capabilities.

We believe that it is your responsibility to learn the Job you put yourself in. When I started showing signs of being a Juvenile Delinquent, my Mother became Cop, Drug counselor and Clergy to derail the Train I was on. She once told me a story of a young Man on his way to be executed, called his Mother close to the Cell Bars, bit her Ear off, telling her that’s for not telling me that I couldn’t get away with Murder.

Killed 17 fellow Students

Every Cop is not a good Cop, every Doctor is not a good Doctor, every Lawyer is not a good Lawyer and so it is with Parenting. Good parenting isn’t something that comes naturally, it is a learned process, mostly you learn from your parents and their parents and your own failures and success. Back in ancient times it was the Job of the entire village to raise the children in African culture. If your kid screwed up a neighbor could spank the child. Doctor Spock don’t believe in spanking a child, but if my Mother didn’t stand her Ground during my Turbulent Teen, which at that point I caught her drift about Crime and punishment, I probably would have committed murder by fourteen. Some kids are that way, they are knuckleheads, so was I defiant of Laws and authority. I have told my wife many times that my Mother was a bigger man than I could ever be raising a rambunctious child as I was, luckily I put it all together and realized that if I continued on the same path into adulthood , I in all likelihood would have done Prison Time. Some of us possess the ability to rise above ourselves others don’t. The only difference for me and others who went astray is the woman I called Mom. She was not going to have any child of her’s do any prison time even if she had to maime or crippled me. Also giving up was not in her vocabulary. It appears to me that Donaldson had given his Parents signals way early before he started acting out his fantasy of popping in a neighborhood killing a few of it’s Residents and fade into the Night. Raising a monster and not knowing the signs, is failure on your behalf.

If it takes Professional help or whatever intervention to turn a twisted child around before he acts out on Society it is your Job to observe and detect abnormalities and aberrations. You can’t walk with your Head in the Clouds saying not my child, even with the smoking gun in Hand and a dead Body in front of him. Being in denial helps no one. I showed early signs of being a bad Ass and being Mom and Pop she made a full-time Job of turning my life around. I am quite sure if she thought she was fighting a losing battle she would have grudgingly made me the ward of the State’s, by putting me in Juveniles Detentions for my own and Society’s good.

Many Parents can’t and won’t come to grips with situations like that, so they just let the kid run its course until he is all grown up and his Demons with him, killing innocent people at night randomly like his name was Jack the Ripper. As I have said before parenting is The hardest job in the world but you bought the Job when you had them. You can’t just drop them like a Cat and turn them loose on Society. Murderous Tendencies goes back to Cain, People forget that Lucifer was an Arc Angel, God’s right hand Man, going bad is a defect that  Plagues Mankind since the beginning of time how we deal with our Fallacies define who we are.

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Mean Streets

To all you youthful Rebels out there who think that your life is a living Hell living under what you might consider to be a Dictatorship. Slow down and look at the big Picture, a lot of us are on this Earth strictly by accident. Our Parents never meant to have us, but out of an act of nature you were conceived, and there was no going back. Many of our Parents were just Kids themselves when they crawled into the Sack and got knocked up. Some without a conscience abort their mistakes, consider yourself lucky as I do. I myself was a late Pregnancy, my Mother got Pregnant at thirty seven her entire Family advised her to have an Abortion because the Pregnancy was dangerous at that age with poor Health.

Thank God she didn’t listen to them, otherwise I would not be here to tell you that no matter how bad it is where you are it’s worse out there on the Streets. From fourteen to eighteen I was a product of the Streets, I undermined all my Mother’s Christian Teachings, hard work and Dedication to raise an Upstanding World Class Citizen. At fourteen years old I was introduced to the finest Marijuana grown around the World by a twelve year old Boy who went to Catholic School. His older Sister was an Airline Steward, she was the Mule that brought the finest Weed grown from around the World to the Bronx. Her older brother was the Dealer, their Parents were the Pillars of the Community, one a Public Servant the other a CPA.

I was a Rebel without a Cause or a clue doing stupid Shit just to prove that I was a Man being Raised by a Single Mom, and to let her know that I wasn’t going to listen to a Woman. That Woman was Godsend in delivering me from the Streets. At fourteen while doing my Laundry she found an Ounce of Marijuana in my Pocket, flushed it in the Toilet, not a word was said of her find.

Several Weeks later she sat me down and Counseled me of the dangers of smoking Weed and what it could lead to as a Gateway Drug, instead of kicking me out of her House into the Streets where I belonged with my Bitch Ass Attitude about being Raised by a Single Mom. She knew how the Streets were, seen as how her Parents kicked her out of their Home when she got Pregnant with her first Kid.

For four more years she put up with my Crap. Her secret Weapon was her strong belief in God, that we were all put on this Earth to go through Trials and Tribulations, the purpose, to make us strong and Triumphant. Also she used the Technique of Love and Logic Parenting style on me, allowing me to screw up as much as I wanted to, then coming full Circle with my actions and face the consequences, while counselling me about Crime and Punishment.

Mass Murderer

After four years of living the Street life of Drinking Colt 45, Old English and smoking the finest Weed from around the World, while steadily being prodded to sell it.

I squeaked out of High School barely Literate from the beating I put on my Brain from smoking all that High quality Weed for four years, when I should have been prepping myself for College to become a Literary Scholar, instead of Partying my Life away. In the end Mom was Triumphant, at eighteen I realized that if I continued hanging in the Streets it would only be a matter of time before I was selling Kilos, and doing time with Brothers who wanted to make me their Woman. At that point in my young life I had seen the Light and since steadily walked the straight and narrow. One of my Cousins took an Offer that I refused, made himself Wealthy, caught five Bullets and did fifteen years in Prison, forget about the money, those were my five Bullets and my fifteen years. What good would it have done me to become wealthy while losing my Soul to the Streets. What I am trying to tell you young Rebels, is the Streets is no place to be Somebody. It is better to stay in what you may consider an oppressive situation, make it your Job, your Vendetta, your Driving Force to become Educated and set yourself Free.

P.S. this is my Tribute to Tom Petty’s Soul Asylum.

Lyrics

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blowtorch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn’t even sleep
So many secrets I couldn’t keep
Promised myself I wouldn’t weep
One more promise I couldn’t keep

It seems no one can help me now
I’m in too deep
There’s no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I’m neither here nor there

Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life’s mystery seems so faded.

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Grinding Axes

Grinding Axes

Have you ever witnessed an extraordinary act of kindness  such as someone behind you in the checkout line offered to pay for your few items. Mind boggling to the skeptics trying to figure the motivation. There is nothing to figure some people believe that you do a good deed and you receive what you have sown. Some people their positive mental attitude is just that infectious, those are my kind of people no down bringers no Haters just people trying to get along with the rest of the World and not blaming it for their shortcomings. Some people they go to sleep angry and awake the same way, not even knowing why. My Mother was one that was great for paraphrasing, her favorite” an Ax to Grind” in this World there are too many Axes to Grind, Color, Socioeconomic, Religion and Gender to name a few.

It seems that once Cain’s hands were stained with Blood Mankind was never able to wash them clean and once our Minds contaminated with Hate that’s how it remains for Generations. Yet the Bible teaches to forgive and forget, Psychologists tells us in order to heal one should forget the hurt, let go and move on with your life. The bad part is those who need psychological help don’t seek it. All I know is if there were something eating at me for years and is pushing me over the edge to act on it, first I would seek help, if the Ax that I was grinding was consuming my every thought, pushing me to the edge Of destruction, I would check myself in voluntarily, why should I take innocent people with me. If there is a Virus within you kill it.

Grinding an Ax for years then acting out by killing a bunch of innocent people is the Cowardly thing to do, the brave thing is to recognize  what you have allowed yourself to become and eradicate the problem. I know that I am sounding Brutally frank  but the Saga never ends. September 2001 a Bunch of Fanatical Haters flew Planes into Buildings that my Coworkers were in, nine hundred of them perished. You think that we would take Head to how far Hate can push you and knowing that all those Fanatical Haters aren’t Dead, just laying low to strike again while we wallow in our own pettiness. Eleven years later yet another act of Terrorism, this time homegrown, make no mistake perpetrating hateful acts of crime on Society is nothing short of Terrorism.

The Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting occurred on December 14, 2012, in Newtown, Connecticut when 20-year-old Adam Lanza fatally shot 20 children between six and seven years old, as well as six adult staff members. Before going to the school, he shot and killed his mother at their Newtown home. This young man allowed the hate within to consume him, then he unleashed it on helpless innocent children. That’s what the hate virus do it makes you blame everyone except the one who owns the problem. Four years later the Pulse shootings,On June 12, 2016, Omar Mateen, a 29-year-old security guard, killed 49 people and wounded 53 others in a terrorist attack inside Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando Florida.

Orlando Police Department officers shot and killed him after a three-hour standoff, yet another Hater who hated Gays and anyone who doesn’t share his Faith.On February 14, 2018, a gunman opened fire at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, killing seventeen students and staff members and injuring seventeen others. Witnesses identified nineteen-year-old former student Nikolas Cruz as the assailant, and he was arrested in Coral Springs by the Broward County Sheriff’s Office shortly after he escaped the scene; Cruz had purchased food at Walmart and McDonald’s restaurants after leaving the scene of the shooting. I guess he felt good about what he had just accomplished with no remorse, to the point where he could eat with lack of conscience.

Cruz confessed to being the perpetrator, and he was charged with 17 counts of premeditated murder and 17 counts of attempted murder. Police and prosecutors have not yet offered a motive and are investigating “a pattern of disciplinary issues and unnerving behavior”.  And so we have another case of the hate virus consuming its incubator. Being Molested at fourteen didn’t make me hate Gays to Massacre them being a victim of Police brutality didn’t make me hate all Cops, neither incidents left me an Ax to Grind.  I must be a Genius to have learned at an early age that there is good and bad in all walks of Life, and that Life wasn’t fair. While I see people around me Grinding Axes that were around before Jesus Christ, Nomads against Jews against Christians against Catholics against Protestants where does it ends. Get over it we will not all look alike, talk alike think alike or Worship alike, if you killed all of us who didn’t fit in your Box, who would there be to feed your little  Ego that you are better than a Cockroach with a Gun. Just talking about the Subject puts a damper on my good vibes and values remember you can’t teach values to your kids they learn from how you live your lives. If you grind Axes in front of your Kids don’t be surprised when they grow up with your sharpened Axes, whacking at Society.

Parenting And Relationships

It’s A Challenge

It’s A Challenge



To be a good Parent May be The Challenge of your Life. The Bible says go forth and multiply, some Half Wit Philosopher said your Life is not fulfilled until you have Children.  Not disputing the Bible, but I match with the latter. Having and raising Children isn’t all that it’s cropped up to be. First of all, once they come on the screen, your Life is changed. You can’t go out Drinking and hanging with the Boys every Weekend coming Home in the Am looking through three Eyes, and leaving  the little Woman alone to deal with the miseries, they throw at her, if you could only see yourself through her eyes . No you have to be there to get your share of the loaded Diapers , the middle of the night wailing, then they grow to be little People with big attitudes. Woke up one day and find that your Life has changed, or should, you can’t use the vulgarity you are used to spitting. When you think that they are not listening, one day they hit you with something like, ” uncle Tony you’re F*c***g kidding me are you. Four years old with the mouth of yourself. It’s a life changing experience.



I would rather own a Racehorse, sometimes they do win and pay for their upkeep.  You can invest a Bushel in a child’s upkeep, upbringing and Education, and they turn out to be Bums, use Drugs and hanging with the Underbellies of Society. So where did you go wrong,  you didn’t, they did, it’s a Crap Shoot. Sometimes you raise Thoroughbreds and other times strangers. I have met Educated adults who refused to put it to good use, move out and make their own way. Before they  get to that point they make your Life absolutely miserable, by acting like they are the Parents. Sometimes they are just Adolescents with big attitudes. By the time they turn Teenagers, they are ready to give you a good ass whipping.


You try to pass on to them the benefits of all you have learned about Life, and they think that you are Stupid, for trying to save them from the disaster of themselves . I am not just talking off the top of my Head. When I was fourteen I was a big Pot Head who drank colt 45. Thank God I kept my intemperance for the Weekend,  and not School hours, also thank God for a strong willed person I called Mom. As I said before the Challenge is Great. So the next time you think about making Babies, ask yourself, am I up to the aftermath.

Related Blog

Stand Up Dad

Making Babies and running off is an awful trait associated with Men, just about animalistic if you ask me. Bad enough when Men do it, but when a Woman meets a Man and run off leaving two young Daughters, that is despicable,I don’t care how good looking or Rich he is, I don’t even care if your marriage is horrendous. Your first priority is your Children. No matter what the circumstances are, your new Man don’t want Kids or your Husband is undeserving of you, first and foremost you are a Mother. Mothers are a special Breed, their propensity to Love care and nurture is unyielding. My Mother was incredible at the art of Motherhood, raising two Boys by herself, she was Mother and Father, a good provider, Teacher and Mentor. Struggling with two Boys, she once met a Man who professed his love for her, a Doctor by profession. He wanted to marry her, with one catch, he wanted her to put her sixteen and nineteen years old out of the House. I guess he feared that if he turned out to be Mr Hyde we would beat him silly, that request enraged her, she sent him packing. Now that’s A good Mother.



Philip was married for twelve years, came home one day and his wife was gone, leaving two young Daughters behind, to raise by himself. Being a stand up Dad, he embraced the challenge boldly. Children can be heartless people, the way they challenge disobey and disrespect us when we are trying our best. My only satisfaction I get from them being Brats, is knowing that their day will come when their own Kids will do the same to them.Philip’s Kids were brutal, they put him through the grinder with their attitude. They acted as if he was the one who ran their Mother off, when it was her own hormones that made her run off leaving them behind. He did his best as Mr Mom, putting his own life on hold for a long time. Making sure that he brought the right Woman home, to fill the void left by the self centered one who ran off abandoning her Family. One day he met a Librarian and decided to marry her, it is never a good idea to raise Girls alone. Girls need the female influence of a Mother, even just for rounding out. Needless to say the Girls did not welcome her with open arms. They were Vociferous and openly challenging and disrespectful. Disapproval was high, they did not care if she was Queen Elizabeth. She was not theIr no good Mother who they were too blind to disown and reciprocatively abandoned. The years progressed with little tranquility, one day through the act of God or goodwill by the new Mom,they came around and acknowledged that she is more deserving of their respect love and appreciation, than the one who gave them Birth. I guess the Lord do work in mysterious ways.