Life, Parenting And Relationships

It’s Only A Tool




My Cousin Constance was a Great Seamstress and Designer, there is no Doubt in my mind that if she had lived long enough she would have been Branded. My Mother noticed that I had a Flair for Fashion so at eighteen she sent me to live with Connie when I squeaked through High School with no intention of going on to College. She wanted me to learn Fashion Design. It was there that I met a Man in her fitting Room that Shaped the rest of my Life. He was a Pioneer in Electronic Goods, one of the Founders of Radio Shack, his Net worth at that time was five Hundred Million. Other than John Gotfreund he was the most unpretentious Person That I have met in my Life.

Sure I was impressed sitting in the same Room conversing with someone of his Stature for over two Hours, he was well Versed in Matters of the World. We spoke about Politics, Religion, Money and Parenting. On Politics he quoted Twain ” always support your Country,  your Government only when it deserved it” he warned me of Nixon’s Downfall before Watergate, because he was unscrupulous. The Man was a Visionary and a Teacher he Bombarded my Mind with Quotations and Knowledge.  He told me that a Person’s greatest Assets weren’t a Head full of Knowledge, but a Heart full of Love an Ear ready to Listen and a Hand willing to help others, he also said that Money was only a Tool to do good things and not to Worship it.

He was a Man of his word, when his two Sons graduated College instead of making them Vice-presidents and giving them offices on the twenty six floor in his Conglomerate, he started them at the Bottom. He gave them Jobs working in his Road Construction Company Laying Blacktop in Texas 115 Degrees Weather. I was startled by that information, I thought to be Cruel and unjust to do to College Educated Men, I questioned why. His response I didn’t want them to develop Rock Star’s Mentality and Pissed my hard work away, also to teach them the value of a Dollar. I was blown away with his Parenting Skills, he said that most Men can stand Adversity but if you want to test a Man’s Character give him Power, out of the Mouth of Lincoln.

Talking with this Man for two Hours was the equivalent to writing the Thesis on how to live the rest of my Life. Things didn’t workout with my Cousin,  I returned to New York only to be bombarded with offers from Criminal elements, at twenty one I turned down an offer to make five thousand Dollars a week working for Organized Crime. How many kids from the Bronx could resist an offer like that,  six months before I went to Texas I would have taken the offer.

Two years earlier I introduced my cousin to a Man, working for him my Cousin became very Wealthy, caught five Bullets and did fifteen years in Prison. With all the advice of how to live and not to Worship Money, today I am alive and never spent one Day in Prison telling young Wannabes that Money isn’t everything. Today I work in a Justice System I see fourteen years old coming to Court and getting Remanded, not going home for a long time. At fourteen I had Connections that made local Drug Dealers envious of a Kid. Drug Dealers have always targeted Juveniles to do their Bidding. In Venezuela kids as young as twelve years old are Hitmen and Gang Members chasing the Buck. Many Days I sit in the Hallways of the Courthouse and ponder what can I do to make an impact on just one of these young people who are being inducted into the System. A week ago I got my answer, Emanuel Donaldson popped on my Website, he was Arrested for committing four Murders in Tampa. I wrote a Blog titled Knowing the Signs where I mentioned him, that means that young Men in Prison are taking a look at my Life, knowing that they are a lot like I was. Only difference is I made the right choices and was rewarded with my Freedom. To all you young People under Lockdown let this Blog be the Compass to the rest of your life, living Pac’s Life is short lived, all the Money he made will be spent by by others who probably was involved in his Demise. Once again let me tell you Money is only a Tool it’s not worth Dying for. Over the years I became a firm Believer that there are no chance meetings and that Devine Intervention do exist. Parting Words, do not teach your Kids to Worship Money.

Related insights


You can hire someone to drive a car for you, make money for you – but you can not rent someone to carry your disease for you. One can find material things, but there is one thing that can not be found when it is lost – “life”.

Treat yourself well, and cherish others. As we get older we are smarter, and we slowly realize that the watch is worth $ 30 or $ 300 – both of which show the same time.

Whether we carry a purse worth $ 30 or $ 300 – the amount of money in the wallets are the same. Whether we drive a car worth $ 150,000, or a car worth $ 30,000 – the road and distance are the same, we reach the same destination.

If we drink a bottle worth $ 300 or wine worth $ 10 – the “stroller” will be the same.

If the house we live in is 300 square meters, or 3000 square meters – the loneliness is the same.

Your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world. Whether you’re flying first class, or economy class – if the plane crashes, you crash with it.

So, I hope you understand that when you have friends or someone to talk to – this is true happiness!

Five Undeniable Facts-

1. Do not educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy. – So when they grow up they will know the value of things, not the price.

2. Eat your food as medicine, otherwise you will need to eat your medicine as food.

3. Whoever loves you will never leave you, even if he has 100 reasons to give up. He will always find one reason to hold on.

4. There is a big difference between being human and human being.

5. If you want to go fast – go alone! But if you want to go far – go together!

And in conclusion,

The six best doctors in the world.

1. Sunlight

2. Rest

3. Exercise

4. Diet

5. Self-confidence

6. Friends

Keep them in all stages of life and enjoy a healthy life.

“Love the people God sent you, one day he’ll need them back.”

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Billy Jean



Billy Jean

Most Kids are Born out of accidents, very few People are smart enough to implement Plan Parenthood techniques. The accident occurres when young People are testing the Waters of their sexuality, Instead of focusing on their Education and Careers, they can’t wait to prove that they are grown up and do all the stupid things that adults do such as Smoking, Drinking, doing Drugs and getting each other Knocked up. What happens between those experimental stages and them coming to grip with the stark reality of actually growing up, defines what they have learned from you of what Life in reality is truly about. Getting Pregnant while still being a Teenager robs you of a lot of things, your youth and youthfulness, Strech Marks and Stress knows no Age.



Putting off your Education for a year or two, many times dictates its end, sometimes out of necessity to care for the Child, so please explain to me the benefits of that moment’s pleasure. I hate to be so brutally frank but the Birds and the Bees do not work for me. When my Brother and I were Teenagers and becoming sexually active my Mother told us that when you’re out there feeling your Oats don’t forget to keep your Drawers up because I have raised you and I am not going to raise your indiscretions. He wasn’t listening to the Greatest Sex Talk that a single Mom was giving to her two Male Children, he became a father at seventeen without a Job, putting the burden on the Girl’s Parents.




When my Mother became Pregnant with her first Child her good Christian Parents ejected her from the family main Resistance into the one Room Guest Shack twenty five yards from the comfort of her Home. My Mother was the Ultimate Mother, she was practicing when she was still a Child helping her Mother care for her twelve other indiscretions, How Hypocritical. As the result of helping her Mother changing Diapers and preparing Meals she was taken out of School at an early age which robbed her of a formal Education, all she was afforded was the basics. With an above average intelligence she was forced to take a Domestic Position with a General’s Family.

The family saw the injustice perpetrated on her and decided to Home School her. They say Education make fools of those without Common Sense. Her Home Schooling and Common Sense allowed her to Rub Elbows with People who were way above her Menial Education such as Ships Captains and Doctors, she even turned down Marriage from a Doctor who didn’t believe in having Children around. Anyway we are talking about Children throwing away the rest of their lives for a moment’s Pleasure. With a College Degree in Economic she could lead a Third World country out of Poverty, with the little money she made people in School including Teachers thought we were Rich, she knew how to make a Dollar out of fifteen Cents.



I would like to quit talking about her but she was Brilliant with her Parenting Skills, I started going Bad early and she picked up on it early. Can you imagine the Dilemma for a single Mom who sent her Adolescent Son to Sunday School every Sunday finding an Ounce of High Quality Marijuana in her fourteen Years pocket while doing the Laundry. How she handled the situation was an Education for me to raise two Boys in New York City and never feared them using Drugs when it was everywhere around them. When she found my Weed she flushed it down the Toilet and gave herself a week to cool down instead of beating me into a Coma for letting her down. Once she cooled down and got over the blow that I had delt her. 

One Day out of the blue she told me that if I continued this Lifestyle she was going to put me in Juveniles Detention. Personally I think that was just a scare Tactic. Regardless the job she performed as a Drug Counselor was of PHD quality, telling me about the Gateway effects, Crime and Punishment to withdrawal from other Opiates, even though she was never a user her Knowledge was vast. Anyway that’s enough about her Parenting Skills we are talking about yours, for not talking to your Kids about the Dangers of being sexually active as Teenagers. You need to tell them that becoming a Parent changes their Lives forever, the Baby has to Eat even if you go to Bed hungry, the Baby needs Clothes even when there are holes in yours it needs Medical treatment when you have to take an Aspirin.

Having a Child is a life changing experience. My Grandma was a Puritanical Woman she never had the Talk that my Mother had with me at fifteen when I was looking up Girls Skirts, she said first you need an Education and a Job before you start making Babies there are too many Fatherless Homes out there. While working at the Resort on St Pete Beach I observed two fifteen years old Kids in the Kiddies Pool with Moves that told me they were having Sex regularly. Where were their Parents who bought the Plane Tickets and paid for the Hotel Rooms. Like T Sex said Bang a Gong get it on. I once met a Man who taught he was a Player, he bragged to me that he had twenty Kids, that’s just about as Hillbilly as this business of Sex gets. Fatherless Homes is an Epidemic in this Country. She said I am the one but the Kid is not my Son. Thank you Michael for the insight, Pac said it best ” Brenda is having A Baby the Girl can barely spell Her Name”.


P.S I know that there are some duplicate contents, but sometimes when you are trying to drive a point home you become repetitive.

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Kids Absorbs Your Values



Killed 17 fellow Students


Kids Absorb Your Values

An agnostic believes in nothing, it’s either you believe in God or you don’t. a fool is someone who knows all, yet knows nothing and is closed mind to Learning. As far as I am concerned , they are one and the same. They go from the neighborhood to the office to high places in the World and spread their ignorance. For instance on a College Campus, a young ignoramus gets up on stage and begins to talk out of his Head about Supremacy and separatism. Dimwits have always dwell on the  trivialities of our differences, of the way we look our Culture and Religion, Intolerance is the Backbone of a Jackass. When I lived in Pennsylvania where Skinhead mentality ruled, the few God fearing good people are the minority. A coworker related a story of intolerance to me yesterday that prompted this Blog. It appears that his girlfriend and his Dad had a conversation about something, the Dad didn’t agree with her point of view.



The ignorant Dad chose to belittle and berated the young woman, at one point calling  her a Bitch. Can you imagine, we are living in the twenty first century and two people with different views can’t engage in a debate without pulling out the Swords and Daggers of intolerance and begins to carve each other up with belligerence. That is not how civilized people do things, if necessary you walk away from the conversation, don’t forget he who fights and runs away lives to fight another day. In today’s society with every fool owning a gun, a mishap on the Roadways and the skies are filled with unnecessary Slugs and a young College student is dead. As it did in Pennsylvania in a Road Rage incident where the Moron shot and killed a College student, after she cut him off,  then fled as most cowards with his mindset always do after screwing up.


My God we’ve come far in our evolving from the Caves, or did we. “Smile when you say that stranger”. On a stage at Florida State University the same Adolf Hitler look alike and think alike who  almost started a Civil war in Charlottesville was given permission to spew his rhetoric of Racism and hate, to a campus audience. Not that they supported his Crap, but to avoid litigation of the first amendment they allowed his Circus Act.  It is irrelevant whether his fallen tree made  a sound, what is relevant, is that there were no reaction to the diatribes. This time there were no bloodshed, Civilized America had spoken to an uncivilized Speaker. The mentality of the Civil War was beaten down with the mentality of Free speech and Tolerance even for a young Ignoramus. That is my America, Land that I love, Land of the free home of the Brave.


There were peaceful protests and nobody called anyone a Bitch. What I love about this Country is that someone like me can write about my distrust and disgust for the Government and not taken out in the middle of the night by the Secret service and never again to be heard from. You don’t know how lucky you are Boy, back in the USSR. Please don’t let the past remind us of what were, move out the square. Life is short and filled with uncertainty don’t let there come a time for us to be forced to unite and fight the enemy . No better time to unite instead of waiting till Bin Laden’s fifteen Children’s come calling. Don’t forget your Children are always watching and absorbing so  they can teach your Values to their Children.

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Knowing The Signs


Knowing The Signs

First of all let me say that we all can’t be Blessed with perfect Offsprings. Some of them needs a little more attention and vigilance than others. Most People that crawl in the sack and make a Baby thinks that putting a Roof over their Heads and feeding them makes them a good Parent. In my neck of the Woods a young man worked at McDonald’s by day and by night he Randomly killed four People. The Tragedy of it all is that he had never met any of these people, they did him no wrong so there were no Axes to grind.

On November 28 2017, police arrested Howell Emanuel Donaldson III after he handed a pistol in a bag to his manager, who alerted police.

Subsequent investigation revealed that the pistol may have fired the bullets used in the killings and that Donaldson’s cell phone had been in the vicinity of the killings at the relevant times, while a search of Donaldson’s vehicle found clothing similar to that seen in surveillance footage of the killing. On that basis, police charged Donaldson with four counts of murder. Donaldson stated that the pistol belonged to him but did not state that he had committed the killings. Donaldson was indicted on the charges on December 7, 2017. He pleaded not guilty to all charges five days later. On January 23, 2018, Hillsborough State Attorney Andrew Warren announced that the state would seek the death penalty against Donaldson.

When the Cops asked his Parents to shed some light on the Case as to what went wrong. they refused to help the investigation in any way shape or form, I guess they were embarrassed of the miserable job they did protecting John Q. Public from their little Monster.

If you think that they are good Parents you also need help. Parenting is way more complex beyond the average person understanding  skills and capabilities.

We believe that it is your responsibility to learn the Job you put yourself in. When I started showing signs of being a Juvenile Delinquent, my Mother became Cop, Drug counselor and Clergy to derail the Train I was on. She once told me a story of a young Man on his way to be executed, called his Mother close to the Cell Bars, bit her Ear off, telling her that’s for not telling me that I couldn’t get away with Murder.

Killed 17 fellow Students

Every Cop is not a good Cop, every Doctor is not a good Doctor, every Lawyer is not a good Lawyer and so it is with Parenting. Good parenting isn’t something that comes naturally, it is a learned process, mostly you learn from your parents and their parents and your own failures and success. Back in ancient times it was the Job of the entire village to raise the children in African culture. If your kid screwed up a neighbor could spank the child. Doctor Spock don’t believe in spanking a child, but if my Mother didn’t stand her Ground during my Turbulent Teen, which at that point I caught her drift about Crime and punishment, I probably would have committed murder by fourteen. Some kids are that way, they are knuckleheads, so was I defiant of Laws and authority. I have told my wife many times that my Mother was a bigger man than I could ever be raising a rambunctious child as I was, luckily I put it all together and realized that if I continued on the same path into adulthood , I in all likelihood would have done Prison Time. Some of us possess the ability to rise above ourselves others don’t. The only difference for me and others who went astray is the woman I called Mom. She was not going to have any child of her’s do any prison time even if she had to maime or crippled me. Also giving up was not in her vocabulary. It appears to me that Donaldson had given his Parents signals way early before he started acting out his fantasy of popping in a neighborhood killing a few of it’s Residents and fade into the Night. Raising a monster and not knowing the signs, is failure on your behalf.

If it takes Professional help or whatever intervention to turn a twisted child around before he acts out on Society it is your Job to observe and detect abnormalities and aberrations. You can’t walk with your Head in the Clouds saying not my child, even with the smoking gun in Hand and a dead Body in front of him. Being in denial helps no one. I showed early signs of being a bad Ass and being Mom and Pop she made a full-time Job of turning my life around. I am quite sure if she thought she was fighting a losing battle she would have grudgingly made me the ward of the State’s, by putting me in Juveniles Detentions for my own and Society’s good.

Many Parents can’t and won’t come to grips with situations like that, so they just let the kid run its course until he is all grown up and his Demons with him, killing innocent people at night randomly like his name was Jack the Ripper. As I have said before parenting is The hardest job in the world but you bought the Job when you had them. You can’t just drop them like a Cat and turn them loose on Society. Murderous Tendencies goes back to Cain, People forget that Lucifer was an Arc Angel, God’s right hand Man, going bad is a defect that  Plagues Mankind since the beginning of time how we deal with our Fallacies define who we are.

Life, Parenting And Relationships

The Hurt

Red Flags

Holding on to anger is like drinking Poison and waiting for the other person to die (Buddah)

What in the World is wrong with Angry  People, those who for whatever reason choosing to let one moment of Hurt, Madness, Hate, Disillusionment or whatever reason control their entire lives.  Has anyone ever heard of picking yourself up brushing off yourself and moving on, instead of Dwelling on the Hurt to the point where you don’t exist, only the Hurt. You do whatever it takes to ease the Hurt as in Drugs and Off the Wall behavior. Bad enough Grown People have to encounter hurt, for a Child to experience the Trauma, the Avalanche of Social Discourse ticks like a Time Bomb. My friend was molested somewhere around ten and the Hurt and shame followed him all through the rest of his life.

Remember me telling you about the behavioral problems that followed the Hurt and the Drugs to ease the Hurt. He was a well adjusted child until his misfortune, then his personality, behavior and his attitude toward life took a nosedive. His schoolwork went to Hell he became problematic got into a lot of fights, jumped off a Bridge when he was twelve or thirteen the Doctors never thought he would live, he started using Cocaine before he was fifteen. Talking about Parenting skills, no one saw the Red Flag he was waiving or his screams for help though they were silent they were Deafening. A Deaf Dumb and Blind Man would have sought help for him, his Parents were oblivious to their once normal Child off the wall behavior and thought the child was just a bad Boy as the whole community did.

My Mother always told me that there was good in everyone, well let me tell you Mom there is bad in all of us, it’s just a matter of what it takes to bring it out. The most Important thing about being hurt is you need to tell someone you need to talk about it with someone or it will eat you alive and consume you the way Hate does. My friend died at thirty nine taking his secret with him, never told his Parents or anyone else but me. Call me clairvoyant, call me Empathetic but I see right through People as if they were Transparent. I saw the Good in him that the entire Town didn’t see including his Family, all they knew was that he did bad things and that he was out of control, no one was interested in the Root Cause. The path in life that he took was laid out for him by his Molester and his Deaf Dumb and Blind Parents.

The worse of Hurt comes from someone you love and trust, as in a family member a Teacher or a Priest especially When they lay a guilt trip on you about telling. When I got molested I was fourteen my Mother died not knowing what transpired in the Home of a Teacher who had scoped me out in the Schoolyard, I was never one of his Pupils but he had slated me as his next Victim. His two younger Brothers who were also molested by him Lured me to the house. The difference between my Friend and I was that he was only a helpless Child, I on the other hand was a big fourteen years old who had overcome the Hurt of two severe beatings by two grown Men, one a family member the other a Church Brother, I was only eight.

Those two beatings brought out the bad in me. My Molester didn’t have a clue who he wanted to Rape, with a handful of my Testicles he tried to pull them from their housing. The poor fool didn’t know that only Months ago I won the fight of my Life from a sixteen years old who was a skilled street fighter, his two older Brothers were Gunmen who caught many Bullets before they caught up with me. Teachie as he was called tried to squeeze me into submission, I closed my Eyes while visualizing his face, with a Rabbit Punch I nailed him in his left Eye so hard I am certain that he eventually would have lost that Eye. The Eye immediately filled up with Blood, he released my Testicles as if they burned his hands, he screamed to his Brothers for help, the older one stood up, I grabbed a Steak Knife and decided to Butcher all three of them for putting me through this embarrassment.

The Lord have always channeled my Anger, I put the Knife down and walked out. In my case the Hurt wasn’t much only two sore Testicles but not my Manly Pride. My Mother was neither Deaf Dumb or Blind she worked with me through those difficult years, with God’s help I have lived a normal life and never spent a day in Prison and never had to kill anyone. My friend on the other hand spent many years in confinement after coming full circle with a bad Life, one Day after sitting at my Kitchen table he was on Tv for taking his Girlfriend and his Child Hostage. That was the last time I saw my friend, he died two years ago at thirty nine from all the bad Life that the Hurt had caused him to live.

He told no one but me, it took fifty years for me to openly talk about mine, don’t live in silence it will make you angry all the time and you won’t know why, Anger will eat you alive along with those around you. In conclusion I am begging all you Deaf Dumb and Blind Parents out there to be Vigilant of the Red Flags that your Kids wave and sudden behavioral change, remember that silence says a lot. Forget about your mundane life and invest some time in your juvenile delinquent offspring, oftentimes there is a message in their bad behavior, caught in time you could save Society from the Havoc that awaits.

In my neck of the woods Tampa, over the last three years Society have felt the wrought of two young men that must have been hurt at one point or another to have lashed out on Society the way they did. One at sixteen Raped a sixty one year old Woman, obviously he hated the Grandmother figure, remember Rapist don’t do it for the pleasure only for the Hurt they inflict, within one year he Raped again this time an eighteen years old College Bound, this time all his Hurt and Hatred was levied on this poor young Woman, the beating left her in a Vegetative State for the rest of her Life. His Parents were Deaf Dumb and Blind to the Red Flags, so was the Parents of the other who worked by Day at McDonald’s, at nighttime he terrorized a Neighborhood killing four of it’s Residents randomly over a one Month’s Murderous Rampage. I guess his Parents also were Deaf Dumb and Blind  to the early warning signs of his Red Flags.

P.S.   Be soft. Do not let the World make you hard. Do not let the Pain make you Hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.


Psychological trauma

Psychological trauma is a type of damage to the mind that occurs as a result of a distressing event. Trauma is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one’s ability to cope, or integrate the emotions involved with that experience. Trauma may result from a single distressing experience or recurring events of being overwhelmed that can be precipitated in weeks, years, or even decades as the person struggles to cope with the immediate circumstances, eventually leading to serious, long-term negative consequences.

Because trauma differs between individuals, according to their subjective experiences, people will react to similar traumatic events differently. In other words, not all people who experience a potentially traumatic event will actually become psychologically traumatized.  However, it is possible for some people to develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after being exposed to a major traumatic event.This discrepancy in risk rate can be attributed to protective factors some individuals may have that enable them to cope with trauma; they are related to temperamental and environmental factors from among others. Some examples are mild exposure to stress early in life.