Life, Parenting And Relationships

The Monsters We Create

The Monsters we Create

One of my Readers once asked me , how do I get Centered to start writing. I told him that most of my Blogs are created in my Head as I go about the Business of Living. Situations I encountered, People I meet or just Daily Occurrences around me. For instance today one of Dr Phill’s Guest were a Teenager whose Mother was in Jail for Animal Cruelty. The Woman is said to be a good Mother who involved herself in School and Parent Teacher activities. One Day while punishing her fourteen years old Son for not doing his Homework among other things. She placed his Hamster in a Plastic Bag, gave him a Hammer and ordered her Son to Kill it. Now I ask you since when does Parenting comes to training your Children to kill. I have always held the Contention that Children who start out killing Lizards and small Animals graduated to People. So there you have the motivation for this Blog people creating Monsters in the way they Handle Children. The problems they create for Society by performing mindless acts of abuse on a Child. Not having the foresight to see down the Road around the Bend what a Traumatic experience can Manufacture. My first experience of Adults abusing Children came at the age of eight. We were going through a desperate Straight, deep in Poverty, Heads below the water. My Mother was one of the hardest Working Woman I have ever met.

She raised two Boys by herself after our no good Dad ran out on us. That was actually the first act of abuse, even tho too young to see. During that period Mother spent more time in the Hospital than Home. I was sent to live with Affluent Family Members whose Children were in College. My Father- in law thought that College made Fools of those without Common Sense. Here I was eight years old and just about starving. One Day I went to the Refrigerator and help myself to a Delicacy I didn’t have at Home, Milk. My Cousin the College Man observed me drinking the Milk. This Idiot took off his Belt, equivalent to a Barber’s Razor Strap, three inches wide. He beat me like a Jockey trying to get his Horse to the Wire, all the time calling me a Thief. At eight years old I considered Murder in Retaliation. In the County Government where I work as a Contractor, we have an eight years old awaiting Trial for the attempted Murder of his Sister. Also a nine years old awaiting Trial for Stabbing his Grandmother to Death. Take Head People, be careful of the Monsters you create. Siblings and Children in general are brutal punishers. Many times Parents cast a Blind Eye, or just think that its just Sibling rivalry. Many times the Tormentors have deep Rooted Hate and resentment for the Recipient of their Wrought. The following Blog is from My early Collection, I thought it was perfect for this Train of Thought and needed to be re- Blogged.

Favorite Son

Mothers are supposed to be our protectors, our Guardian Angels. Julie however did not see it that way. When she was young she fell in love with an older Man, suave and debonair, also well to do, but a Player nonetheless, she was totally overwhelmed by his charms. Women are so foolish when it comes to that type of thing, they are so easily played. If I was a woman and a Man turned on the charm on me like that, to the point where I was helpless and could not say no to his Casanova’s suave style. That would set off a red light in my Mind, that this Guy could charm a Hooker out of her hard earned money, and instead pay him for his services. Some Guys are just that good, most young Women have no defenses to a man like that. Julie was a sucker for his charms, she crumbled and had a child for him.

Did not take long for her to realize that she was taken for a ride and that this Man was a formidable Player, and that she wasn’t the first and by no means the last. Some Guys think that it is a form of conquest to have a whole lot of kids with different Women, sort of like a Sheikh and his Harem. Julie’s Heart was shattered, but the Child she had for him kept her Heart happy that she had something of his, that one day may bring him back. All this Child was to her was a Memorabilia of someone she would never have. She spoiled the Child rotten, never setting limitations or Boundaries. The Child grow wild and out of control, a ticking Time Bomb. Nine years went by Julie met another Man got married and had a child. Bad mistake, for nine years it was only the two of them, the Kid was quite satisfied with the way things were, no one else for her to share her affections with. The jealousy and resentment on his part was never masked, jealous of his new Brother and resentment of the Stepfather.

Big Brother was not up to sharing his Mother with some Half Brother, he rebelled, whined and snickered, always up in her arms where his infant Brother should be, in her Lap and in her Bed. For God’s sake what does it takes for someone to call the Child Psychologist. What is it? Am I the only one with a figurative Head on my Shoulder. Jealously was rampant in this little spoiled rotten Brat, after a while it finally hit him square in the face. Little Brother was here to stay, unless he took him out of the perfect Picture that once was, the relationship he once shared with his own personal Mom. I don’t remember when the Beatings started, I believe it was when the infant was one. This little Monster unleashed a campaign of Terror on his infant Brother. The Infant had Black Eyes, and highly visible Bruises representative of Abuse. The Baby always showed signs of fear for Big Brother, always cowering from sharp advances. Mother was as demented as son, all the time looking the other way, Daddy Chicken Shit fearing losing his beautifully Ugly new Wife refused to face the reality of what was transparent. They both neglected to put a stop to the Terror the Child was undergoing, at the hand of his Evil Step Brother. The Abuse continued for four more years before Eunuch Dad decided that Marriage or not, after cries and prompting from onlookers urged him to stand up and be a Father to his Child.

It was apparent that the Ignorant Woman chose to be Mother to only one Child, who was a constant reminder of her first Love. Without a doubt as evil as her Terroristic Son. the beating did not stop until the helpless Child ended up in the Hospital with Bowels obstruction and intestinal damage, where Big Brother had targeted his blows to avoid detection. As everyone knows that Psychopaths are clever in covering their Tracks. Am I the only one here that see a clear case of Child neglect, abuse and conspiracy, these People should be in Jail, one thing for certain, they will have to deal with their conscience and their God. Life is so ungiving, there are People out there that possess all the traits of good Parents and can’t have kids, and others that shouldn’t have a Pet, have all the Children they wanted.

My God what a Wicked World we live in, both Parents were aware of the Abuse and did nothing for four years until we threatened to expose them to the Child Welfare Department. How do these People live with themselves. Parenting does not sink to a lower level than that. This is why I can’t cast Judgement on the eight years old Child awaiting Trial in the Justice System where I work. No one knows his Situation for trying to Kill his Sister. Or the nine years old also awaiting Trial for killing his Grandmother. I would not be the Ideal Juror for either of these Cases, because I am Prejudicial to Abusers, being abused myself.

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Good Friends

Sweet and Sour

When I was younger it didn’t matter wheather I see any of my old friends who drifted out of my Life without a Postcard with a forwarding Address. Sad but true, it’s the same with Family Members. Now that I am all grown up and have made it my Business to be Educated and Enlightened in the subject of Life, People and Social Structures, I miss them. The reason for that is I would like them to see how well I have Bloomed and is at Peace with my World even with all it’s Ills and letdowns, from Politics to Religion and all the Sociological disorders. This is why I miss them, they are not around me to see how Aloft I am from those who Rejects Values, and Bloomed into a Flower, transforming into a Butterfly and not remaining a Caterpillar. I don’t hate, I don’t Blame or expect anything from Society or them who have abandoned and Deserted me for no good reasons. Lets not forget that Judas was a Disciple of Jesus.

That is the Motivation for this Blog, Sweet and Sour, because that is exactly how People are. Some of them wants to use you, some of them wants to be used by you, Sweet Dreams are made of these. Thank you Fleetwood Mac, I couldn’t have said it better, but that’s exactly how they are. Way beyond Sibling Rivalry, Brothers and Sisters dumping Dirt on you and you are not even Dead yet, all because of Ignorance and Idiocryncies. And that is the difference between them and myself, there is nothing Petty about me I am willing to die for my Convictions like Saint Valentine or Jesus refusing to Renounce their Faith. That is the Person that Age have made me, someone willing to Bury the Hatchet and not in your Back, being able to move on with my Life no matter what, capable of Forgiveness without Forgetfulness.

That is why I miss them to show off my Bodaciousness and how Magnanimous of Life I Have become, while they Languish in Mediocrity and smallmindedness. People I have known since twelve years old we lived like Family we shared Meals along with our secrets and Dreams, we grew up together and drifted apart vanished from each other’s Lives. That’s not how People should live, then one Day they show up at a Funeral acting like they cared about the Diseased one. That is the heights of Hypocrisy and that is the Crux of the Separation, Hypocrisy rules our lives, like Tom Petty said, it’s alright if you love me it’s ok if you don’t. Its as if Caren Carpenter read my Heart when she sang ” So far away dose’nt anybody stay in one Place anymore, it would be so nice to see your face at my Door”.

Life is so short and untimely it does us well to Savor each other, while we still can,Tomorrow we could be hearing  Eulogies. Years ago in a Sociology Class we discussed the twentieth Century as being a throw away Society, back then I considered the Ideology as Idle talking. And it shall come to pass, our Automobiles are replaced as regularly as our Androids and so too are Friends and Family. Granted, there are People in our Lives that we should distance ourselves from, People who drags you down instead of lifting you up. My best friend in High School was one, he didn’t have a Mind of his own.He didn’t know that a Black Man joining the Revolutionary Guard, the Protective Element of the Black Panther Party, was signing his own Death Warrant.

In the year 1972 J. Edgar Hoover and his FBI had Declared War and open Season on the Militant Group. Yet my Best friend allowed them to talk him into Joining the Group and bringing me along. On that Fateful day of going to the Induction, my Mother being Instinctive told me that If I did what she thought I was going to do, I would be Homeless. The Safe House  where we were to have the Meeting was a Bomb Factory, two hours before our Meeting the House blew up killing two. My Mother never liked him from Day one and always told me to watch myself around him. Naturally there are some Associations made in Hell, but the good ones should not be busted up for no good reasons, they should last your lifetime, because after all we are all we’ve got. In the end we go to each other’s Funerals shedding Crocodile Tears, like the Hypocrites we truly are.

The more I Reminis the more Depressing they are to me. I still can’t believe that I know not of my little Buddy’s whereabouts, the Catholic Schoolboy that started me smoking Weed at fourteen, he was only twelve but more Worldly than I. He Introduced me to Stanley Clark, Chic Corea and Tito Puente. Can you Imagine being Educated by a twelve year old. He told me Stories of Molestation in his School and the Impending Scandal in 1968 and forty years later Bishops are going to Prison for crimes they have been committing for forty years with Impunity. Junior I miss you, Junior is what I called him, he called me Pope. Two years before I met Junior I had another best Buddy Charlie was a Genius and a Saint. I on the other hand was too busy being Bad to walk in Charlie’s footprints, he was a Scholar. One Day while indoctrinating him in being Bad I almost got us both Killed. I was twelve years old dismantling Shotgun Shells when I decided to Bury one exposing the Cap and striking it with a Hammer. Twelve years later he moved to California and that was the last I seen or heard of my good Friend. I guess that is what being Californiacated does to Relationships. No Doubt in my Mind that he became Successful and thought he had outgrown me. My question is what good is being Successful and Dying like Howard Hughes, alone and in Despair. The Day I ceased to Rise I know I will hear Tupac’s voice ” How long will they mourn me”, or will they?. My Life is a Beacon for Relationships, I have been Faithful to the same Woman for forty years. I am sixty seven years old and fairly Healthy, nonetheless I know that I am walking my last Mile. ” Good company in a Journey makes the way shorter” –  Izaak Walton.

Life

I will always be there

 


You are young and in school, you meet  mr right, your heart tells you so. Things get hot and heavy,  bam you are pregnant, you marry him all is well and good, it’s the logical thing to do.  Baby is thriving well, it’s time to go go back to school. One Day you tell him of your intentions of going back to School. His male dominance surfaces, I would prefer if you stayed home he utters. I will always be here to provide for the family. Magnanimous gesture for sure, nonetheless finishing your education is as tangible as an insurance policy. Matter of fact more so if his testicles leads him from you. I have been married for thirty seven years, never once unfaithful, had many opportunities though I stayed the course. Whenever one of my friends got busted in their extra curricular activities, all I hear from her is, Men are Dogs.



I say to myself, not necessarily so they just think with their Testicles. A childhood friend of mine with a beautiful loving wife, taught that he  was too much for one woman. He had a woman in just about every State, he was away from Home more than a Traveling Salesman. The grief he caused this Woman, also a friend of mine made me despised him, her mother cared for me like a son. I had no choice  but to distance myself from him. I hope you are following my drift. Not all men is led by their Joystick. I stayed true to my wife and have no regrets for not being a Dog. There are so many contingencies why he may not be there for the long haul other than being unfaithful, it is of the utmost for you to be able to provide for yourself if the day comes. Not only that but two Incomes takes the Stress out of paying the Bills and living largely . Also the Days of the Wife staying Home and making Babies is long gone. Another friend of mine had a good marriage and a nice family, his wife however was an overbearing woman who taught her job was to mold him into the perfect Husband, always correcting and criticizing. One day he packed an overnight bag, telling her that he was working on a project that had to get done. No one have ever seen him again, nothing in this life is guaranteed.

 



Early in my Marriage I once told my wife that she was driving me crazy. Her response, it’s a wife’s job, to some Men that’s reason to run. No one knows what the future holds for us, that’s why you need to cushion yourself for whatever life throws at you. Janice was  sixteen years old when she hooked up with an older Man with plenty of money, by twenty she had three children for him. He told her there was no need to finish her education and no need to further her ambition of becoming a nurse, because he made enough money and would always be there. Ten years later he was convicted of murder never to walk the streets again. She was now twenty six with three children to feed, no education and no skills entering the workforce for the first time. All that I am saying is, don’t get caught up in the Honey Trap when everything is so sweet and cushy that you are unable to be objective and pragmatic about the rest of your Life. Don’t forget that Momma may have, Pops may have, Husband may have, Boyfriend may have but God bless the Girl that’s got her own. I once knew a Man who was married for twenty five years, he told me that he had fifty thousand dollars that his wife knew nothing about. I asked him why, he responded that it was his runaway Money if the day comes.

 

 

Anyone can wake up with their Running Shoes on a Sunday morning. Like No Doubt puts it, you came up with the Breeze ( running out on a Relationship) without a warning. Life is filled with uncertainties especially in Relationships, don’t put all your Eggs in one Basket, sleep with one Eye open. You might not get a restful Night’s sleep but there will be no surprises. Many Men are intimidated by a Professional Women or an independent one. The Old Days were Brutal, when I was fourteen I lived next door to a Man who didn’t allow his Wife to spend Money. She was a Seamstress with good Skills, every Penny she made was handed over to him, whatever the Household needed he did all the spending. This Scenario parallels a Woman doing the same Job as a Man and getting paid less for doing a better Job, As you can see History repeating itself. I was only fourteen but I knew that there was something Deathly wrong with this situation, it was like a Scenario extracted from Oliver Twist, mean and Dominating. Worse of all he had four Daughters who were getting a bad Education of what a Relationship should be. One of the Daughters married the Man who had a Woman in every State, how Paradoxical Life can be. Life is like reaching in a Grab Bag, you never know what you are going to get, and that is your reason for being self supporting.

Life

She Loves Me He Love You Not

 

 

 


What is this thing called Love? is it just lust misrepresented, silly emotions, a spiritual bonding, a meeting of the mind body and Soul, or is it just contagious affections. Whatever it is, I am a soldier of Love, an Olympian, with a Torch in my Heart. What did Romeo know that Juliet had not felt, did she not know that without her there be no Romero. I was ten Millie was nine, that Child Professed her Love for me to the heights of no impediments. Child Prodigy have always been, is it possible she was a Prodigy of Love, a reincarnation of someone who had carried the Torch. In High School a Girl I Loved but it could never be, she injured my Heart critically. From there on I went through the motions for a long time, Never thinking that I would ever find the real thing. The People I hung with were all Players, Fly Girls and Users. A Girl who Loved a Friend of mine was Impregnated and tossed aside irreverent of her condition and situations at seventeen. Animals in the Wild takes better care of each other than some Humans.

 



Same Place and time a Girl I thought I could Love, choose my Best Friend. In Fisherman’s Lingo, you have keepers and throw backs,he definitely was the latter in all aspects. He was a Player with a Heart of Stone, self centered and unaware of others feelings except his own. Absolutely strange Bedfellows he and I, me I was looking for my soulmate, he was looking for one Conquest at a time. Another Girl in the Circle, Gorgeous to no end, also a Player the two could be twin Leopards with identical spots. They knew each other’s fierce predatory nature and were only cordially teasing to each other. I once told her that she was destined to be a working Girl. John on the other hand stayed steady with Liz all through High School. Shortly thereafter they got Married and had three children. I guess Love can make a Husband out of even a Player. I stayed single till I was twenty eight, with all the Players I encountered, I was Gun shy, figuring that if I met my Soulmate she could be an illusion. However on an uneventful chance meeting, not being on the prowl, I met a single mother of two Boys, in that situation most men become Dates who forget to call letting you know that something of a pressing nature came up and they won’t be able to see you ever.

 



I kept the Date and thirty nine years later, I am happy I kept the Date. The first time I laid Eyes on the Woman that I would spend the rest of my Life With, was in the Building where she Lived. She was on her way to the Laundry Room, sporting the Appearance of a Plain Jane. Nothing Like the Runway Types I knew in High School. Nonetheless I was Smitten by the Love Virus that Romeo had. I was so Dumbfounded all I could do was look, not a word was spoken, not even Hello. One Day I asked one of my Coworkers who was the unassuming Woman that I had seen. He promptly promised me an Introduction, I had many sleepless Nights before I sat in her Living Room Cooing like a love sick Dove. After our first Kiss we fell in Love Simultaneously. Three Scores and more later we never admitted to each other that it was Love at first Sight. It must be that Macho thing, that  Real Men don’t Cry or that thing that once Bitten twice Shy. Just like the Montagues we both had Rejection from her Kids and my mother but they all came around when they all realized that there never was ever going to be no Sweet Sorrows. Funny how the Circle of Life revolves, my Mother was a single Mom and Men avoided her with her Baggage of two Boys. She was the most Loving, unselfish and trustworthy person I have ever known. I have seen her gave away her last Dollar to someone in need. I learned that loving giving Spirit’s should be cherished and adored. The Woman I Married was all that, I was not about to let Laura get away from me because she had Baggage. The World is filled with Players, only out for self gratification.” Sweet dreams are made of these, some of them wants to use you, some of them wants to be used by you”. When it comes to Love, Romance and Relationships, today it seems that it’s all Fabricated in Hollywood, nothing is real, it’s all a silhouette except for the Heartbreaks.

 

 

 

P.S This Blog is Dedicated to my Wlife Laura, Happy 39th Anniversary my Dear, also this one goes out to the one I didn’t Leave behind, it goes out to the one I Love.

 

P.P.S. True Love is as hard to find as Fairness and Honesty in a Pawn Shop.

Life

Cover Page

  •                       Cover Page

 

Welcome to my life, a while ago I had the notion of developing a website about safe Driving. When my website Designer got back to me with a name that he suggested,  without knowing my plans for the site, it knocked me for a loop. That’s how Savingkidssouls.com was born. The Website was lost because of faulty Domain Registration. The name of the website sent me scrambling to the Dashboard to produce ten Blogs in five days to meet the deadline for the website to be launched. Can you imagine posting Blogs about safe Driving with a name like that. I did some soul searching and came up with the format of Parenting, Relationships and life. The three topics surrounding my own life, before I wrote my first post I did a little research on what makes good Blogs. I was told that the number one sin, was writing blogs about yourself. Nonetheless I proceeded to write about my experiences in life. Why shouldn’t I, the Life that I have lived is an Extraordinary one, I have met some Extraordinary People such as John Gutfreund ( the King of Wall Street). I met another Man in Texas who was worth five Hundred Million Dollars and as unpretentious as a Priest. I have also met Ordinary People such as Hugo Selenski, who was Convicted of Killing four or more People, Burned and Buried them in his Backyard. Hugo and I would sit and talk about Horses for Hours, woke up one Morning and he was on the News.

 

 

 

 One hundred and fifty blogs later the site was blessed with half a million visitors, one million visits and five thousand comments all positive one critical calling me an attention grabber. The objective of the website was to enrich other people’s lives with the positive side of life that I have experienced,  and to lead others away from the negative side of life. Three Websites later you have adixon7611.com doing it all by myself is tedious work, Our fundamental Thoughts are fortified with Age and Experience= Lifehack I love criticism it inspires change for the good. I Do not feed into Negativity, I totally believe one can Shed their Skin, the Bible says so. 

 

On the Positive side, in my old Hometown of North East Pennsylvania where Racial divide is as wide as The Susquehanna River Banks, a young Black Kid riding his mediocre Bicycle noticed his nine years old, neighbor who happens to be White being Abducted. As any good neighbors and good Citizens should act, he chased the abductor’s car. With wings of Angels he rode his Bicycle following the car for miles with such Tenacity the Car was apprehended and the Abductor Arrested. The poor child knew that she was in danger, she kissed embraced and thanked her Rescuer. I am a watcher of Life and people, I see monumental Gains in small Deeds. I am quite sure that a bond was made for Life. These are messages that tells me when my Faith is shaken, that it can’t be Broken.

 

 So there you have it I can write about anything in my Life and you will find it interesting, you may not agree but you will see the merits in what I write. I wasted my youth, I grew up in the seventies where Sex, Drugs and 🎸 Rock and Roll was the driving force. The Artists of the fifties, Sixties Seventies and beyond will never know the Damage done by using their Lyrics to promote Deviant Lifestyles. For instance a Song by Taj Mahal Nobody’s Business But My Own. The Lyrics goes “ Cocaine don’t make me crazy, Reefer don’t make me Lazy, you can drink all the Liquor in Costa Rica. Look at the Characters that Cheech and Chong portrayed. I still can’t believe that I survived my Turbulent Teens.  The only good thing that came out of my High School experience was adding English Literature to my Curriculum. 

 

The People I Partied with called me Lame for sitting in a Classroom discussing Shakespeare, and Tolstoy (“ Freethinkers are those who are willing to use their minds without prejudice and without fearing to understand things that clash with their own customs, privileges, or beliefs. This state of mind is not common, but essential for right thinking”)  Even though I never went on to Higher Learning I never stopped enriching my Mind, I made it my Job to learn something new everyday. So here I am Semi Retired living out my Life with a Bang in Paradise, writing Blogs to Read to my fellow Residents in the Nursing Home, when I get there. And so to you who are on the way, I cannot Emphasize with stronger Force “ Make Hay while the 🌞 Shines”. The Portal for living is brief and Elusive.

 

P.S. accentuate the Positive

Eliminate the Negative that’s the story of Love.

 

Being a free thinker allow us to make objective choices and decision in our lives.

 

And being able to exercise them

 

Click on Link for the Hugo Selenski Srory

https://images.app.goo.gl/pxrCMwFVCdK4hrkW7