Everyday I live I try to improve my Mind, I am just passing it on. Check out what I have learned from Lifehack.
You are young and in school, you meet mr right, your heart tells you so. Things get hot and heavy, bam you are pregnant, you marry him all is well and good, it’s the logical thing to do. Baby is thriving well, it’s time to go go back to school. One Day you tell him of your intentions of going back to School. His male dominance surfaces, I would prefer if you stayed home he utters. I will always be here to provide for the family. Magnanimous gesture for sure, nonetheless finishing your education is as tangible as an insurance policy. Matter of fact more so if his testicles leads him from you. I have been married for thirty seven years, never once unfaithful, had many opportunities though I stayed the course. Whenever one of my friends got busted in their extra curricular activities, all I hear from her is, Men are Dogs.
I say to myself, not necessarily so they just think with their Testicles. A childhood friend of mine with a beautiful loving wife, taught that he was too much for one woman. He had a woman in just about every State, he was away from Home more than a Traveling Salesman. The grief he caused this Woman, also a friend of mine made me despised him, her mother cared for me like a son. I had no choice but to distance myself from him. I hope you are following my drift. Not all men is led by their Joystick. I stayed true to my wife and have no regrets for not being a Dog. There are so many contingencies why he may not be there for the long haul other than being unfaithful, it is of the utmost for you to be able to provide for yourself if the day comes. Not only that but two Incomes takes the Stress out of paying the Bills and living largely . Also the Days of the Wife staying Home and making Babies is long gone. Another friend of mine had a good marriage and a nice family, his wife however was an overbearing woman who taught her job was to mold him into the perfect Husband, always correcting and criticizing. One day he packed an overnight bag, telling her that he was working on a project that had to get done. No one have ever seen him again, nothing in this life is guaranteed.
Early in my Marriage I once told my wife that she was driving me crazy. Her response, it’s a wife’s job, to some Men that’s reason to run. No one knows what the future holds for us, that’s why you need to cushion yourself for whatever life throws at you. Janice was sixteen years old when she hooked up with an older Man with plenty of money, by twenty she had three children for him. He told her there was no need to finish her education and no need to further her ambition of becoming a nurse, because he made enough money and would always be there. Ten years later he was convicted of murder never to walk the streets again. She was now twenty six with three children to feed, no education and no skills entering the workforce for the first time. All that I am saying is, don’t get caught up in the Honey Trap when everything is so sweet and cushy that you are unable to be objective and pragmatic about the rest of your Life. Don’t forget that Momma may have, Pops may have, Husband may have, Boyfriend may have but God bless the Girl that’s got her own. I once knew a Man who was married for twenty five years, he told me that he had fifty thousand dollars that his wife knew nothing about. I asked him why, he responded that it was his runaway Money if the day comes.
Anyone can wake up with their Running Shoes on a Sunday morning. Like No Doubt puts it, you came up with the Breeze ( running out on a Relationship) without a warning. Life is filled with uncertainties especially in Relationships, don’t put all your Eggs in one Basket, sleep with one Eye open. You might not get a restful Night’s sleep but there will be no surprises. Many Men are intimidated by a Professional Women or an independent one. The Old Days were Brutal, when I was fourteen I lived next door to a Man who didn’t allow his Wife to spend Money. She was a Seamstress with good Skills, every Penny she made was handed over to him, whatever the Household needed he did all the spending. This Scenario parallels a Woman doing the same Job as a Man and getting paid less for doing a better Job, As you can see History repeating itself. I was only fourteen but I knew that there was something Deathly wrong with this situation, it was like a Scenario extracted from Oliver Twist, mean and Dominating. Worse of all he had four Daughters who were getting a bad Education of what a Relationship should be. One of the Daughters married the Man who had a Woman in every State, how Paradoxical Life can be. Life is like reaching in a Grab Bag, you never know what you are going to get, and that is your reason for being self supporting.
Most eight year old Boys are only interested in playing with their toys and their Dog. Not me when I was eight I was a mother’s worst nightmare. Once my mother was cooking, she walked away from the kitchen for two minutes, that was all the time I needed to create a catastrophe. Inquisitive me had to know what was cooking in the boiling hot Pot, pulling it down on myself causing third degree burn to the entire lower half of my body. At eight I was into everything that spelled danger. Several months earlier while walking the Beach I met a man called Lefty, the way he came by his name is nothing short of a horror movie.
Lefty was an avid Fisherman who preferred big Game fishing. One day while fishing in sixty feet depths a Marlin grab the bait connected to 100lb test line, lefty and I must have been born under the same Zodiac sign, the monster fish snapped the pole and took off still on the Hook. Lefty was of my same Heart, he refused to cut the line and live to fight another day. He wrapped the hundred pounds test around his arm just below the elbow. Well now you know how he got his name, the line cut straight through the bone like a Saw.
At eight I was an avid Fisherman lefty had taught me all I needed to know how to catch fish using only a hook and line the same way he lost his arm. It was danger in the make for a child like me, thank God I could never cast my line beyond the Shores. One day while I was fishing the Shore, Lefty’s Boat rolled ashore dragging the ocean floor, the reason why the Boat was dragging is that Lefty had caught a four hundred pounds Marlin. He threw me the morning line that almost killed me trying to secure the Boat, screaming for help from the top of my lungs.
Help soon arrived to get the monster fish out of the Boat. When it landed on the beach with my clothes all wet from going out to get the rope to tie the Boat, I could not tell if I had peed myself with excitement. This was Baby’s big day out, as soon as that fish hit the Sand lefty was all over it with his Machete cutting sixty pound stakes. Whoever was there took home a sixty pound marlin steak. As if I didn’t work hard enough securing the Boat, now I had to get this slab of fish home all sixty pounds of me. I had no intention of abandoning the spoils that I had worked so hard for, I dragged it through the Sand and dirt the entire hundred yards home. I guess it was that early on that Mother knew that I was happening guy, that was afraid of nothing and probably would die early from adventurism.
Luckily enough the following years didn’t kill me so today I live three miles from the Gulf of Mexico. Coincident? I’m here looking for my Moby. Living in Florida is a Dream that should have happened thirty Years ago, but as they say nothing happens before its time. One Day while sitting by the Banks with my Line in the Water, not really trying to catch anything. I was just clearing my thoughts while Gazing across the Mighty Gulf of Mexico. A Man walked past where I was sitting, he asked me if I caught anything. I told him that I wasn’t trying to catch anything, I told him that I was in Despair because I would like to start writing but my Computer was Broken. His response was what did you do before you had a Computer, I told him that I have been Writing Drafts on a Notepad for many Years,His response, so what is the Problem. From that Day on my biggest Motivation in Life is to spend my Retirement Years searching for my Moby Dick and writing Blogs. The Little time that that we are given to chase our Dreams whatever they be, is too short and elusive. I knew a Man who was a Gifted Artist, his works hangs on my Walls along with Great Masters. Yet the only ones sold was to me, he had one setback and he gave up on his Dreams. We should not spend all of our time chasing Money, even though making a lot of money is all some of us Dreams about. In the end Money is only a thing, your Dreams will always be a part of you.
Anyone who knows Kyrzayda Rodriguez the famous fashion blogger who died right after announcing she had Stage 4 stomach #Cancer. These were her words on her last days on earth. May Her Soul Rest In Peace.
“I have a brand new car parked outside that can’t do anything for me, I have all kinds of designers clothes, shoes and bags that can’t do anything for me, I have money in my account that can’t do anything for me, I have a big well furnished house that can’t do anything for me.
Look, I’m lying here in a twin size hospital bed; I can take a plane any day of the week if I like but that can’t do anything for me…
So do not let anyone make u feel bad for the things you don’t have – but the things u have, be happy with those; if you have a roof over your head who cares what kind of furnitures is in it… the most important thing in life is LOVE.
Lastly, make sure you enjoy the ones you love”.
See in life anything you have, material things, possessions, riches, fame? Can’t do anything for you once you leave this earth.
Let God be the reason of our existence.
Bullies are People with shortcomings and inadequacies, to be more precise they are People with Rough Edges. Usually they are unhappy and filled with envy.
There are many signs of rough edges, to say the least, the lack of Politeness, Humility and Grace shows the Granite in you. When a simple Debate brings out the Weapons, be they Words, Swords, Daggers or Pistols, you have crossed the line. Now we are dealing with Jagged Edges. The old adage Sticks and Stones is Fabricated. A thirteen years old Poet wrote, ” the mighty Arrow delivers a piercing blow, the Sword delivers a sharp blow but Words delivers the most Devastating of blows.
I can swear to that statement, I come from mixed Genes, my Grandmother was a Mulatto Woman, My Grandfather was Pure African. The Complexions of their children were staggered. At six years old I felt the devastation of piercing Words. One of my Aunts who was fair skinned chose to embed in my impressionable mind that I was the Inferiority of the Family Tree. She tagged me with the name Blackie. That was my first encounter with Bullying, until today I still can’t understand why a grown adult would torment a Child. However it happens everyday in Families. Inadequate Parents use harsh words to chastise their Children, piercing Words that diminish the Child’s self-esteem. How crude and inhumane when you get it from your own Family. Kids in School were a reflection of their Parents rough edges. By the time I turned fourteen as a result of harsh Words and Bullying I was an Accomplished Street Fighter with a Reputation. I had all the qualifications of being a Bully, I was bigger than most Kids my age and knew how to fight. Instead I chose to beat down Bullies.
When it came to our upkeep my Mother was near fanatic, our appearances were immaculate. At eleven years old we moved in a Neighborhood where the closest School was Parochial. Dressing for School each Day we looked like Military Men on Parade. The white shirts were pristine, the Khaki pants were creased and the shoes polished to sparkle. In that Neighborhood were three Brothers, the Higgings Boys. Those Boys older than we were made it their jobs to send us home dirty tattered and bruised each Day. Up to that point my Brother and I knew nothing about fighting, we had no choice but to learn. Three against two, we learned fast and excell quickly. To some degree I think that we asked for the confrontations by taking the shortcut through an open field each Day. That made us sitting Ducks for daily Ambushes. Anyway these three Bullies got the worst of it. We got tired of going home tattered and dirty so we decided to send them home battered and bruised instead. We developed fighting techniques Bruce Lee would be proud of. My all-time favorite was putting my Books in my Brother’s Backpack and loading mine with Rocks. The first of the Aggressors would go down hard when introduced to my Backpack and the other Cowards would run and leave their Brother whimpering.
Three years later I was now in Junior High, one Day the biggest Bully in the Shool and the entire Neighborhood picked on me for no other reasons than to humiliate and humble me. I was seconds from crying Uncle, he was two years older than I and more skilled. At the moment of begging for Mercy, a huge Stick presented itself, the color of Mercy had changed. Every Limb that had brutalized me were introduced to the Stick. The fight started in the back of the School, I escorted him off the School Property, beating him with the Stick the entire hundred yards to the front Gate. For all the Bullying that goes on these Days, I feel compelled to tell you that the Kids in that School will tell their Grandchildren of that Day. They all gathered behind me Cheering the entire way to the Front Gate. It appears that there were no Teachers or the Dean in School that Day, no one tried to break up the fight. By the time I got to High School my past had vanished, as if I shed my skin. No one knew of my fighting skills. I went to Taft High School in the Bronx, not the toughest Neighborhood in the Bronx. Nonetheless it had it’s Reputation, for this is where the Bronx Tale had Manifested. There were Fights everyday after School, Blacks against Whites, Gay Bashings and just plain Bullying. The first School Shooting occurred in the Basement of Taft.
When your Kids show signs of Bullying those are signs of rough edges, it is your Job to address it before they meet someone who will teach them Manners. It appears that my Tormentor came from a long line of Bullies his two older Brothers seventeen and eighteen were Executed by a Gang Firing Squad within a week of looking for me. Today Bullying is out of control, one Day my seven years old Niece and her next Door Neighbor made me blush with the words they called each other, in a war of Words. Bullying starts that early and goes all the way to Columbine. Nikalus Cruz was a Bully who got into many altercations and fights, ultimately his rough edges turned to jagged edges. To me it appears that the Boy could not handle his Parents miserably separation.
Most sensible People can tell when a Brushfire threatens to burn out of control. His Parents did not see, the Community did not see, his Classmates did not see and neither did the School. One Day the Brushfire became a Forest Fire, on that Day he went to School and Killed seventeen of his Classmates, then went to McDonald’s and bought himself a Meal. Did I mention Jagged Edges, today the World is consumed with Jagged Edges. In my old Hometown of Wilkes Barre Pennsylvania a Child Molester exposed, decided to kill his Victim and half the Block. Today he lives comfortably in a Prison for the Criminally Insane, his Drugs provided with my Tax Dollars make me Insane. Let me be redundant, Jagged Edges is the byproduct of Rough Edges.
Twenty miles from Wilkes Barre in a Road Rage incident a young Woman going to College cuts off another Driver to make her exit is shot in the Head by a seemingly intelligent young Man with Jagged Edges, and easy accessibility to Guns. Rough Edges is the Norm in today’s Society, you have Parents with rough edges, Teachers, Lawyers, Doctors, Priests and worse of all Politicians with Nuclear accessibility. As I have said over and again Parenting is the hardest job in the World. If you weren’t raised up properly how are you going to smooth out your Children’s Rough Edges. That’s why I believe that as soon as you find out that you are going to become a Parent, you should run out and buy a copy of Parenting With Love and Logic. I am not commissioned to promote this Book but many of my Blogs about Parenting is inspired by it. I could write Volume on the Subject of Rough Edges, at this point of this Blog I believe that I have made my point. Tolstoy I will never be, I believe that a Blog should have the same effect of a Book on one single Page. In conclusion, Rough Edges should be smoothed out before they become Jagged Edges.
P.S. Thank God my Mother Smoothed out my Rough Edges before they became Jagged.
Synopsis of Me
As I sit here Pondering what would I be if I wasn’t me.
Who would I rather be if I not me.
If I could choose instead of me who could I be.
Then I think to myself why should I thread in someone’s shadow.
Walking in someone’s Shoe is a dangerous course.
These are all Paths to loose myself.
My Being my Soul the Spirit within is all of me.
The thought of even being someone else.
Makes me foolish to chase a reflection in the Lake.
Returning to find there is no one there where I started from.
After all I am no one’s shadow, and no one is my reflection
And in the end to find the only Envy was Mine all along.