Life, Parenting And Relationships

Dogs

For thirty seven years every time a sex scandal breaks, all I ever heard from my Wife is Men are dogs. Even though I know she wasn’t referring to me. One thing she always said to me is that I was going to Hell for holding a grudge. Many a Days when she made me mad, I would crawl in bed, turn my Back to her and snored like a Bear, even if she was in her Birthday Suit and smelling like a Flower. That is what a real Man do, he does not put his Pride in his back Pocket, he does not abandon his conviction,  compromise his Ideals, sell his Soul, throw away everything, lose his Mind or his Career for a little Piece. And there you have it, the motivation for this Blog.

My first experience to Men who would throw it all away for a moment pleasure came when I was fourteen. Someone of great trust a pillar of the Community, a Teacher, tried to Rape me across the Street from a Police Precinct. If I had screamed the Cops would heard me loud and clear hollering Rape. The poor Dumb Rapist did not do his Homework, otherwise he would have known that I had a reputation of kicking Asses of people much older than I was. All for a piece of Ass he carried my souvenir for the rest of his Life, a Glass Eye. I Nailed him so hard in his Eye it almost fell out of the Socket and hit the Floor. I am pretty sure the Cops heard him screaming like a little Girl. That’s what you get when you stretch your Loins instead of your Mind.

Not long after that I kept hearing Rumors of Altar Boys being Molested and Raped by Priests I was still fourteen. I thought to myself maybe I needed to get a Gun to protect myself from the People who were supposed to Protect me. Three months away from fifteen I became friends with a twelve years old Catholic School Attendee, that Boy had access to more Marijuana than many Dealers, his Brother was one. Many days after School when we should be Home doing our Homework, we sat in the Schoolyard smoking some of the most Potent Strains , exchanging Stories of Molestation that went all the way up to the Bishop. No wonder that at twelve and fourteen our Heads were all screwed up smoking Marijuana trying to make sense of the Madness.

We were both deep into Music Jethro Thul’s Aqualong was one of our favorite, our favorite verse, eyeing little Girls in baggy Pants. Need I say more, we were being corrupted by Our Society. A few years later two Brothers the Timmins Brothers both sixteen years old were Arrested for a string of Rapes, probably twelve. All perpetrated on Seniors, Women old enough to be their Great Grandmothers. The World that we were coming into was unraveling in front of our Eyes. Sex was now more important than Morality and everything else. Sodom and Gomorrah had resurged. And still have not gone away. Over the years stories of Infants, Adolescents, Teenagers and grown Women being Molested an Raped has made it to Epidemic status.

Which takes me back thirty seven years when I first heard my Wife saying that men are Dogs. At this point in my Life I beg to disagree, they are Primates- Cro-magnon, still wearing Loincloth hunched over. When your primitive Sex drive outweighs all, including your freedom, your Career and your Dignity calling you a Dog is an insult to Man’s Best Friend. Which makes me ask the question is Testosterone the Driving force of Life? It has been speculated that Cain killed his Brother over a Woman, Countries gone to War, Kings Abdicating their Thrones, Rich Men giving up Fortunes, over a Woman. My English Literature Teacher’s words resonates in my Head ” what is the Author not saying” it’s not a Woman it’s the Itch.

Failure to control the Itch has made Monkeys out of many Great Men. Judges, Doctors, Presidents, Bishops, Clergymen, CEOs, Teachers, Actors, Comedians, Television Personalities, Fathers and young Boys. Many are sitting in Prisons because they acted like Dogs in Heat. They lost their freedom and everything all because they never heard of a cold Shower, now they are showering with big Burly Men who take what they want, even if you are only eighteen and a Virgin. Two years ago in Tampa, a young man of seventeen was Arrested and Convicted of two Rapes. He raped his first victim when he was sixteen, the victim was sixty. Barely seventeen he attacked his second victim, she was seventeen and College Bound with great aspirations.

He gave her such a severe beating she is now in a Vegetative state unable to speak or eat. May God help us all for what we’ve become, Chimpanzees in Heat. My Wife is an Avid Reader, she finds Stories that doesn’t make Mainstream Media. The other day she informed me that one of my favorite Personalities was Raped by her Dad a Minister. She was in her early Teens when her own Father Impregnated her. Again we are back in the Caves, your Granddaughter is your Daughter, Deliverance all over again. Since we are nothing but Barbarians at least one Custom should still be in our Penal Code, Castration.

Although I have written in many Blogs that you can’t always blame Society and the Parents for all your mal-adjustments. At this late stage in Life I am developing inward conflicts of those Beliefs. The Media sells Sex as if it was more important than Food, Kids barely sixteen becoming Parents, not mature enough to guide themselves, what can you expect from their Offsprings. For instance when I was thirteen a fifteen years old Nymphomaniac lined up four other Boys and myself and introduced us to Sex. I am beginning to convince myself that it is a Parenting issue. Although The Media doesn’t help being Manipulative and Suggestive. When I was younger I used to think that the Moral Majority was Intrusive and Overbearing, all that has changed with the aforementioned. Without Morality we are back in the Caves Naked and without a Candle.

Parenting And Relationships

Ownership Of the Problem

 

When I started my first Website which I lost due to improper Domain Registration, that Site was strictly Dedicated to Parenting. Doing Research on the Subject I came across a Book Titled Parenting with Love and Logic. I was so impressed that I contacted the Publisher and asked for Permission to Print Excerpts from the Book on my Website. Permission was granted with the Stipulation that the Excerpts didn’t exceed my own Blog Posts. I felt Privileged and Honored to receive their permission. The following Excerpts caught my attention, so here is the first of many to come.

 

 

Love and Logic Principle:

Let Teens Own Their Problems and Their Solutions

Love and Logic consultant parents help teens through life by offering choices and sharing control in the process, all the while building on their teens healthy self- concept. They let teens own their problems as well as solutions. Building a strong self- concept is the first of three things we can do with teens so when they reach the age of temptation, we’ve got a chance that they are not going to abuse drugs and alcohol or engage in other risky behaviors. The second thing we can do is to help teens learn how to make decisions. We do this in part by letting them own the responsibility, including the good feelings as well as the disappointments of those decisions, planting in their consiousness this idea: ” The quality of my Life depends on the decisions I make.” Third, we can make it clear who owns the responsibility for a particular problem.

 

 

 

If Parents don’t draw clear lines of demarcation when they are called for, they and their teenagers are in for a lot of grief. Let the teens own their own problems, their own feelings, their own disappointments, their own rewards. One of the worst things we do is give teens the message that they shouldn’t do something because the logical consequence of their action is to make adults mad. First that encourages them to shape their actions according to the voices outside their heads. And second it can reinforce an immature rebellion in some teens who will go out of their way to make adults mad.

 

 

 

Either way they don’t own the situation. For example, let’s say your daughter is Driving the family Car and she’s tempted to show off for her friends. Should she be thinking, Boy if crash this car, my dad’s really going to be mad is that how a mature teen would react? If she is a sensible young woman on her way to healthy independence, that’s not what she’ll be thinking. Instead she will say to herself, gee if I crash this car, I am going to splatter us all over the highway. Guess I better be careful. It’s the teens responsibility to own the problem and find a solution. But that’s not as easy as it sounds, because we are tempted to rush in like Helicopters to protect our son or daughter from the real world.

 

 

 

Or we march in like a drill Sergeant, bark a few orders, and expect the teenage troops to fall into line unquestioningly. Those temptations must be resisted. As a person in the helping profession of Education,  I always felt tempted to solve my students problems. So I had to train myself to do something different by using a keyword: Bummer. Whenever I used that word, it reminded me to be careful. Don’t solve the problem for him. Don’t give him a solution. Don’t give him advice,and don’t be defensive. Let him do the thinking. And when the student hears bummer it sounds emphatic. Gee too bad Bummer. I bet that feels lousy. If we show that we understand how they feel, we hand their feelings back to them-  for their control, not ours.

 

 

 

Ownership of problems also flounders when we confuse praise with encouragement. Twenty years ago Public Schools began using something called positive reinforcement. That philosophy says That if we spend a lot of time telling teens how well they are doing, they will do better. This approach works well with teens who sees themselves as a 10 because they don’t have to search for proof to backup their self-image. But how many teens in our classrooms or homes really consider themselves 10s? We encourage teens best by talking to them as adults.

 

 

 

We do not build self- concept by telling them they’re good. Teens with a poor self-image will simply discount it, and they will probably end up worse off than if we said nothing. One day teens are down; the next day they’re up. It goes with the territory. We can help by criticizing them as little as possible and by refraining from telling them what should be discovering for themselves. We want them to think for themselves, so we should be asking them questions instead of ordering them around. When they say they are going to do something stupid, we can respond, “Well, that’s an opinion. You can do that. Have you ever thought of this”this and this? We wish you well, and we will still love you no matter what happens. By talking to teens as if they were Adults, we convey the strong message that we expect them to act like adults and take charge of things in their lives. But we certainly don’t do this by Lectures or Threats.

Excepts from Parenting Teens with Love and Logic

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Fell Asleep At The Wheel

 

Nikolas Cruz
Killed 17 fellow Students

 

 

Fell Asleep At The Wheel

Several Months ago I wrote a Blog about Inept People in the workplace that Blog is still pending. Over the past couple of Months I have been following the Story about Nikolas Cruz, he is a young Man with a Troubled past who had sent his Guardians, his friends, his School and the world messages, even on Facebook that he was a stick of Dynamite waiting to Blow. No one read the Signals, one Day the Powder keg Blew. On February 14 2018 Cruz went to School carrying what was visibly a Rifle Bag, I am just about certain that the School Monitor told Authorities that he saw the Bag and identified it as a Rifle Bag. The Monitor’s failure to approach Cruz and ask him to open the Bag was just one Fatal piece of the series of ineptness of all involved, that allowed Cruz to carry out an Act of Terrorism on his fellow Classmates and Faculty members.

 

The Troubled Youth went inside Majory Stoneman Douglas High School and Killed seventeen of his fellow Students and Staff Members, he also injured seventeen others. While the Massacres unfolded there was an Armed Sheriff Deputy on the Campus Grounds that made no attempt to enter the Building to minimize the Carnage. Did I mention Ineptness and Cowardness, at twelve years old I was a Man of action. One Day while playing in the Schoolyard one of my Classmates fell on a broken Bottle severing his Wrist 90%. My fellow Classmates gathered panick strickened and watched his Life flowing away from his Body, I immediately jumped into action taking off my Belt making a Tourniquet, applying it to his Forearm tightening and Loosening it until the Ambulance came.

 

 

The Medics told me that I saved his Life. That’s who I have been all my Life, someone who could spot Danger and wasn’t afraid to jump right into a Dangerous situation to save Lives. All the People involved in the Majory Stoneman Massacre kept a Hands off Stance. His close friends knew he had access to Dangerous Weapons while Harboring  bad Temperaments towards his fellow Classmates, the only Parity to be drawn is ” Friends don’t let Friends Drive Drunk” no one lift a Finger to Alert Authorities of the Ticking Time Bomb. The School also fell asleep at the Wheel, there were numerous Documents of Antisocial Behaviour and of fighting and Threatening, even on Facebook.

 

 

 

The Warning Signals were Louder than 100 Kids in the Hallways, yet no one heard, did I mention Ineptness, if you have a Child that enjoys Torturing and Killing Lizards and small Animals “Ding Dong” is there someone at the Door, na just my imagination. Cruz have been acting out for a Long time, his Guardian slept the entire Trip, so did his Friends The School, the School Monitor and the Deputy on Duty. In many of my Blogs I have stated that there are many People  who are Parents and Guardians that should  not be allowed to care for Dogs and Cats. In one of my earlier Blogs Titled Fatherless Homes it is Documented that 90% of Social upheavals comes from these Homes I have said it over and again, putting a Roof over their Heads and food on the Table is not all there is to Parenting.

 

 

I’m somewhat of an Authority on Problematic Teens, at fourteen I smoked Weed and drank Beer regularly. Many Nights my Mother worked overtime and she got Home before I did, stumbling in after a hard Day of Partying, one morning I came stumbling in five A.M. peeping out of three Eyes. I took years off that poor woman’s life, can you imagine working all Day, coming Home and not seeing your sixteen years old child for almost twenty four Hours. My Mother was a Caring Loving Person she never once abused any of her Children, that Day I had pushed her to her Limits. She stayed up all Night to Exercise the little Minion called Me, if I ever returned.

 

 

She Lay waited me behind the Door with a Broomstick and dropped me to my Knees, that was the last time I tried to Undermine her, that Assault Taught me that Laws weren’t made to be broken by some dumb Kid on a Runaway Train. If the Courts had gotten whiff of her trying to Crippled me, she would have been in Jail and I would have been free to Run Amok on Society. I gave that Woman Insomnia, she never once fell asleep at the Wheel. Today fifty years later I am still thankful for her taking control and being the Responsible Party. Every Day I awake I give God thanks for giving me a Vigilant Parent who refused to sleep. The People that I was Partying with were Devious People, all the while me thinking they were cool Adults allowing a Kid to hang with them.

 

 

They had ulterior Motives, they were Grooming me to sell their products. Mother didn’t fall asleep at the Wheel, she didn’t know the who, what, where and why but she knew something was wrong. Today I am here to tell Parents of Problematic Teens don’t go to sleep. Mother told me a Story fifty years ago, up to Today I still think that she was pulling my Leg. She said there once was a young Man awaiting Execution, his Mother came to say goodbye, he called her close to the Bars as if to whisper in her Ear. To the Mother’s surprise he Bit her Ear off telling her” that’s for not telling me that I couldn’t get away with Murder” true or false I got the Message.

Life, Parenting And Relationships, Safe Driving

The Speed Bug

 

 

The. Speed Bug

Today I wake up to the News that two Highway Murders were going on Trial for taking the Lives of a young Mother and her Infant Child one year ago. Those two Egomaniacs were Racing on a Public Street at speeds over 100 MPH in the middle of the Day, the young Woman was pushing the Stroller while crossing the Street. Wheather or not she was crossing with the Light they didn’t have a chance, this was an illfated Day for the Victims. The two Oxi-morons were probably allowed to post Bonds and go on living their miserable Lives. Drag Racing is been around since Moonshine Running which gave Birth to NASCAR Racing, what is new is the B***h attitude that everyone has in my neck of the Woods when they get behind the Wheel. It doesn’t matter if the Vehicle is thirty years old and poorly maintained People around the Tampa area runs their Vehicles hard with Reckless Abandon and they all posses the B attitude. What they are trying to prove or to whom behooves me, Driving cross-country Commercially and on Leisure Trips I have noticed that the B attitude is of Epidemic porpotion. Road Rage is the offspring of this Attitude, from seventy five to seventeen the Attitude prevails, it doesn’t matter whether they are Educated, Professionals, Men or Women the Attitude Rules our Roadways.

 

 

That’s what separates a Motorist from the Crowd, a Motorist cares for and about his Vehicle and it’s operations, he also cares for his fellow Drivers by always exercising Courtesy and caution. I had the Best Driving Instructor, he told me to always drive like I was the only one on the Road that knows what I am doing, yet he never mentioned anything about being a good Motorist, there is a difference between Motorists” Drivers and vehicle operators. Vehicle Operators have minimum skills, with continuous learning they become good Drivers, a Motorist knows the Dynamics of a Vehicle, it’s capabilities and inadequacies in different Weather conditions and operations. 

 

 

There is no doubt in my Mind that those two Highway Murders didn’t know that at 110 MPH, on a dry Road with good brakes, the Vehicle will skid 340 feet more before stopping. This distance combined with perception and reaction time and distance means you need about 600 feet to stop a Vehicle traveling at 110. MPH and even more with a Pickup Truck. Forget about all the Technical stuff what about Contingencies, it was a clear Day with good weather conditions traveling Amsterdam Ave in Manhattan, I was going five miles over the Speed limit. Out of the Blue a four years old Child chased his Ball into the Street in front of me. Forty years later I still don’t give myself credit for saving his Life, I stopped within six inches of the Child, if the Car had rocked forwards the Catastrophe would have been all mine.

 

 

 

 

That is what being a good Motorist is all about, saving Lives. Being a good Motorist is a practiced way of Driving knowing that whatever can go wrong will go wrong. Taking all into consideration, why would I go Racing my thirty seven Thousand Dollars Plastic and Fiberglass Heap through City Streets, my Car is surrounded with Censors, yet I operate the Vehicle as if there were none. Many years ago while traveling the Vanwycke Highway in Queens, it was early afternoon, I was traveling at 65 ten miles over the Speed limit. Two Brand New Cars blew my Doors off doing 80 +, two hundred yards ahead of me they simultaneously decided to enter the middle Lane, slamming together they littered the Roadway in front of me.

 

 

 

 

I narrowly escaped being part of the Catastrophe by Driving on the Grassy Shoulder, I didn’t stop, there was nothing I could do they needed a Priest. With all the Hands on experience why wouldn’t I strive to be the best Motorist that I can be, and why shouldn’t you. Many Nights I travel the Bayside Bridge at twelve Am, nowhere else in the Tampa area is it more evident that Mindless Drones rules the Roadways, 100+ is not an occasional occurrence, when someone is Barreling towards me I move two Lanes away from them. I believe that the two Mindless Drones that killed the young Mother was exiting a Bridge onto a quiet Street. I see their faces on Television and Moron is written all over them. And so in conclusion don’t be a Moron, Drive like your Life and others depends on your good senses.

 

 

 

 

Incidentally they had just Graduated High School, I know they didn’t have the Money to buy Hot Mustangs. At seventeen my first decent Car came off a used Lot with money earned from working part time, buying my first Car and getting insurance with my own Money taught me Responsibility. Buying your Kids brand new Cars knowing that they are irresponsible, (no one knows a Child more than a Parent) puts the blame for that young Mother’s and Infant’s Death in your Lap. Buying expensive Toys don’t fill the Void of being a Parent.

P.S.  Once again speed kills.

Life, Parenting And Relationships

Belly Of The Beast

 

 

 

When I started Blogging I Developed a Website called Saving Kids Souls.com I lost the Domain because of my failure to register the Domain Name properly. My intention for the Site was to reach out to Problematic Teens and their Beleaguered Parents, in hope to change the life of just one young person heading down the Road that I traveled during my Turbulent Teen. I started on a self destructive Path before I was fourteen I was a Thrill seeker, at thirteen I tinkered with Explosives by Dismantling Shotgun Shells and re-packaged them for a bigger Bang, Stole Expensive Racehorses and ran them on Blacktop till they were Tenderfooted, they were finished as Racehorses, Victor and I would sneak than back under the cover of darkness.

 

 

One day Victor went on a mission without me, he got caught the owner beat him with a Bullwhip shredding his Shirt and his Skin. I saw him running down the street passing my House I called to him, he was a Hair away from being stark staring mad, that cured my Horse Rustling days. Victor came from a good Family, my Mother was a good Christian Woman who tried to instill good values, yet we defied our Parents and chose to be Bad. There were absolutely no reason for us to be clueless Rebels. Just turned fourteen and there are two Teenage Gunmen  looking for me for savagely beating their Kid Brother who was two years older than I was. The Gunmen died in a hail of Bullets crashing a Gang Party that I had planned to attend. I viewed their open Caskets with their faces dimpled with Bullets, that cured me from wanting to be a Badass. if we had continued on that path we would have been Dead before twenty one.

 

I moved away from Victor before my fifteenth Birthday, that was the best thing for both of us, we were each other’s alter ego. That move brought me to a House where all the Children of a Model Family were involved in Drugs. The Twelve years Baby got me smoking weed with him, I was cursed with bad association, can you imagine a twelve and fourteen years old smoking the Best Strains from around the World. You think that’s bad, one year ago in my Neighborhood of Tampa Florida three kids fourteen, fifteen and sixteen lost their lives in a fiery crash at speed over 100MPH after stealing Cars from Lots and playing Tag.

 

These three kids just brought the numbers up close to fifteen, dead and Buried, Girls included, all in Pinellas County. This Blog is for the Kids of Pinellas County it will be Posted on Facebook. I was once a big Thrill seeker who should have been Dead before fifteen but I had a guardian Angel called Mom, she never gave up on me and that made all the difference in the world to shape the rest of my Life. Her patience with my bad behavior gave me time to wakeup from the Nightmare Life I was living and to realize that Prison Life was for Fools, someone who doesn’t have one live Brain cell in his Head. It isn’t a place where a Vagrant should lay their Head, I would rather sleep under a Bridge in the Dead of Winter instead of a warm Cell with some Man Sodomizing me. If you survive Prison you won’t survive the Diseases passed around in there, if you survive the Diseases found in there, Early Death is inevitable at the hands of your associations.

 

Having a Rational and figurative mind helps in making the choice of how your Life begins or ends, but as the saying goes “its all mind over matter and if you have no mind it doesn’t matter”. Again with the sayings “its your Life you can make Chicken Salad or Chicken Shit out of it”. My Mother was Sweet and Sour, she gave me a Timeline to turn over a new Leaf or chose a Cot in a Juvenile Detention Center, that’s tough Love to protect Society from me and myself from me. Juvenile Delinquency is of Epidemic proportions in this Country and many places like Venezuela. In America there is hardly a need for Kids to turn to Crime to survive, if their Parents can’t provide for them Welfare steps in.

 

 

 

As Venezuela’s two presidents face off, children scavenge for food and soldiers run out of patience

 

Places like Venezuela they have bad Economy, no Jobs and no Welfare, the Parents can’t find work the Kids are hungry, so as early as eleven they are inducted into Gang Life, a Refuge from the brutality of Poverty, now they become the Bread Winner. My Mother was a good Provider I had zero reason to become attracted to the Underground lifestyle that I chose, 100% Dead end. They say that Crime doesn’t Pay, Bull, The Lawyers make out like Bandits Judges make three figures Salary to send you away for long portions of your life, The Misdemeanor Fines are enough to Finance a Prison on every Block. I work in a Justice System, with one Misdemeanor I wouldn’t have the Job.

 

 

The massive Courthouse Complex a five Hundred Million Dollar Building stands in front of a Billion Dollars Prison Complex. If you can’t afford to buy your way out like OJ did, this is your new Home for a long time. The Walls are Thick with small Windows yet I hear the Screams of Frustration and Abuse. My God I am a Genius for keeping my Nose clean growing up in the Bronx running with the wrong Crowd. This is my Bronx Tale. I would say that 75% of the People I knew at Thaft H.S. on 172nd St, walking Distance to the Streets where the Bronx Tale occurred, are in Prison, on Drugs or Dead. God snatched me from the Belly of the Beast, He gave me the strength to stand Tall. All my life I wondered why he saved me from the Beast and kept me alive.

 

Today I know why, it’s to tell all you young Brothers and Sisters under Lockdown, that you also can rise above your Bronx Neighborhoods to be where I am now. He kept me alive long enough to collect some of the half a Million in my Social Security Fund, good Health and Strength to still be Working while collecting, Drive Bad Rides and live in an Affluent Community. I never got Rich because I was smart enough to turn down every offers from Drug Lords, one offered me five Thousand a week at twenty one, one offered to front me ten Thousand Dollars of uncut Cocaine monthly, no upfront money. If I stepped on it five times that worked out to fifty Thousand Monthly. The last time I saw my Best friend from High School he was running from the F.B.I. From the Bronx to Compton to Caracas Venezuela, I am telling you Kids its not worth it. Prison is like living in the Belly of the Beast. And so in conclusion let me say to you little Tough Guys out there, you are not Tough until you are Tough enough to see the Light, Tough enough to make changes in your Life, it’s easy to stay stupid all your Life. Frank and Jessie James were Tough Guys. Mark was a Tough Guy, his wife a Sharpshooter shot and killed him at fifty yards claiming it was an Accident, while having an affair with his Brother. Hector was well Built, he crossed three High School Football Players, they beat him to Death with their Fists, when these three Tough Guys were caught they whimpered like little Girls knowing that they were going to Prison for a long time. Aaron Hernandez was a Tough Guy he Shot many People killed one, he was tough to the end when he committed Suicide. Are you Tough enough.